Last week on The Kardashians, Kourtney called out her family’s habit of placing toxic men — partners or otherwise — on a pedestal.
If you missed it, Kourtney got candid about the way her family members tend to “normalize” the toxic behaviors of some of the men in their lives, whether that be current romantic partners or exes.
The topic came about as Kourt explained her reluctance to welcome Khloé’s ex Tristan Thompson back into their innermost circle with open arms, unlike some of her family members.
Tristan has publicly betrayed and humiliated Khloé numerous times since they first started dating in 2016, resulting in multiple splits and reconciliations. Most recently, he secretly fathered a baby with another woman while he and Khloé were engaged and preparing to welcome their second child — and, to make matters worse, left Khloé to find out about it when the news leaked online.
In spite of Tristan’s actions, Khloé eventually chose to remain amicable with him as coparents for the sake of their kids, True and Tatum.
And shortly after Khloé made her peace with Tristan, viewers were left baffled to see Kris Jenner, Kim Kardashian, and Khloé’s BFF Malika Haqq speaking highly of the athlete throughout this season of the family’s Hulu series.
Kourtney, on the other hand, won praise from viewers for her honest comments about Tristan’s behavior, and for letting her 11-year-old daughter, Penelope, know that his actions are far from OK.
“In our family, everyone can tend to normalize these behaviors of some of the men in our lives, and I don’t want to show my daughter that that’s OK,” she explained in a confessional. “I think having forgiveness and giving grace is right, but also having really clear boundaries, I think is really important.”
Well, in this week’s episode, Kourtney opened up a little further about her family’s habit of being overly forgiving of toxic men.
Speaking with Kris and Khloé directly, Kourtney — who has been on a therapy journey since 2017 — explained that she believes her family’s habit of dating toxic men could partially be a result of generational trauma, which is when the experiences of parents impacts future generations epigenetically.
In recent years, scientific studies have shown that trauma can be passed between generations via genetics, simply because trauma can impact the way that genes are expressed. Seemingly referring to this in The Kardashians, Kourtney tells Khloé, “You know how True has eggs in her body right now? She had them in her when she was in your body. She was inside of you when you were inside of mom.”
“So MJ’s trauma, and Nana’s trauma, was inside — is inside — of me and you, ‘cause it was inside of mom, ‘cause mom was in their body,” she says, referring to their grandmother and great grandmother.
“It’s called something, if you look it up on TikTok,” Kourtney adds, to which Khloé sarcastically replies, “Oh, we’re basing medical advice off TikTok?”
Kourtney later tries to explain that their family members’ traumas can “get passed down,” but Khloé cuts her off and questions why she’s so fixated on it.
“No offense or anything, but like... We all have fucking problems, just buckle up and let’s go,” says Khloé, who hasn’t shown much interest in going to therapy for herself over the years, and has instead noted that she uses the gym as a coping mechanism for her difficult experiences. What’s more, Khloé has infamously branded herself as strong and resilient while seemingly not processing the depth of her emotions, which has previously led fans to accuse her of having an “old school mentality” about mental health.
In response, Kourtney reminds her of the importance of breaking “certain patterns” in order to avoid passing trauma down to their children. “There’s certain patterns to break if you don’t wanna pass things down to your kids,” she says.
In a confessional, Kourtney opens up a little more about her therapy journey, revealing that she started it while she was in a “toxic relationship.” Kourtney began therapy in 2017, which is when she was dating Younes Bendjima, whom she later admitted was “negative” for her. Two years prior, she split for good from Scott Disick following a turbulent nine years together on and off.
“I think I didn’t start a self-awareness journey knowing what I was doing. I started therapy through a toxic relationship, and then learned so much about myself, about my family, about why I do certain things, about our childhood wounds, about how they show up in intimate relationships, generational trauma,” she explained.
Later on in this episode, Khloé scoffs as she asks Kourtney if she believes “choosing bad partners” is a “genetic thing.”
“You think choosing bad partners is, like, a genetic thing?” she says with a laugh. Kourtney replies, “I think it’s generational.”
Kourtney goes on to explain, “We all have picked people we thought we could change… We can’t.”
Meanwhile, Kris hits back at Kourtney’s point by suggesting that she’s never “even thinking about” the past because she has a “full, fabulous life.”
But Kourtney once again maintains that the reflection is important for the process of breaking toxic generational habits. “It’s just if you wanna change certain ways,” she says, before later being cut off by Kris, who diverts the conversation away from therapy entirely.
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