Make it stop.
Now we all know what's in Geoffrey Cox's codpiece (don't ask).
What the hell was going on for two years?
“I can only imagine that I failed to see the car coming, and I am very contrite about the consequences.”
Short version: No one knows. Longer version: No, really, no one knows.
Amid all this apparent carnage remember this: Nothing 👏 has 👏 changed 👏.
Can't wait for 2019!
The Couple Arrested In Connection With The Gatwick Drone Disruption Say They Feel "Completely Violated"
"Our names, photos, and other personal information have been broadcast throughout the world."
How was this only five days?
It's all going brilliantly.
From a quiet Christmas to the End of Days.
Here’s What’s Going On With All The Brexit Carnage, For Normal People Who’ve Not Been Able To Keep Up
"We will remain friends until the end of days, and one day longer," said European Council president Donald Tusk.
I will pay good money for this man to voice my satnav.
Jeremy Wright let everyone down by allowing them to think he'd appear in holographic form, like Tupac did, but then just turning up in person instead.
"Ah, so he got a promotion and his own guaranteed parking spot? Nice one!"
"Made my wee dug's day!"
I just don't understand why you would do this. (H/T @MattChorley)
Pressure is growing on chief whip Julian Smith over a voting decision the Tories say was a "mistake".