A couple of months ago, Billie Eilish opened up about feeling massively uninspired career-wise before featuring on the Barbie soundtrack last summer.
Billie, 22, who has been in the spotlight since the age of 13, explained during an interview with Zane Lowe in July that she felt as though she’d “lost” her ability to make music.
Billie later admitted to the Hollywood Reporter that during this period, she even found herself "concerned" that her career was “over” when she and her brother, Finneas — who is also her longtime collaborator — were struggling to create new music.
“We’d been trying, and it wasn’t doing what it usually would do in me. I was honestly like, ‘Damn, maybe I hit my peak and I don’t know how to write anymore?’” she shared.
However, things changed when Billie was approached by Barbie director Greta Gerwig to pen a song for the film’s soundtrack, which she revealed was the “first thing” she and Finneas managed to write together in a while.
“I thank God for Greta, man,” Billie said. “She saved me, really, honestly.”
Now Billie is opening up further about how being on the Barbie soundtrack massively affected her.
Speaking at the Palm Springs Film Awards while accepting an award from Greta this week, Billie, who was joined by Finneas, recalled being in “a dark episode” when she was approached to write for the Barbie soundtrack.
Noting that she felt like “things didn’t make sense in life,” Billie explained, “I just didn’t understand what the point was and why you would keep going. [I was] questioning everything in the world.”
However, watching Barbie changed things for Billie. She explained, “Basically, I was just watching Barbie say and feel things that I really, really, really resonated with and felt so close to. I felt so seen, and I did not expect that.”
She added, “I think that this movie is the most incredible, most empowering and beautiful and funny and just unbelievable piece of art in the world, and I’m so honored to be a part of it.”
As its title makes clear, Billie’s “What Was I Made For?” captures these themes of existentialism. And so, Billie made sure to dedicate the song to anyone who has experienced the feeling of “hopelessness.”
“I would really like to say that this award and any recognition that this song gets, I just want to dedicate to anyone who experiences hopelessness, the feeling of existential dread and feeling like, ‘What’s the point? Why am I here and why am I doing this?’” she said.
“I think we all feel like that occasionally, but I think if somebody like me, with the amount of privilege that I have and the incredible things that I get to do and be, and how I have really not wanted to be here... Sorry to be dark, damn, but I’ve spent a lot of time feeling that way,” she said.
She continued, “I just want to say to anyone that feels that way, be patient with yourself and know that it is, I think, worth it all.” She then added, “It’s good to be alive now.”
The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-888-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.