......TRY TO REMAIN CALM.
A classic “Switcherwhoops”
I'm at a point in my life and in my pain where I'm willing to try anything.
"I'm gonna date the shit out of you tonight."
"It would be great for our friendship!"
“They were out of salad!"
"The second my roommate is out the door, my pants are off!"
"This won't end well."
"Am I doing this right?"
Am I doing this right?
“It looks like a bunch of dull pencils pushing through a sheet of leather.”
is it wrong to want to look better than the bride?
"They'll bring you soup but they don't care about making you cum."
Hey Mom...Hey Dad...
What are dental dams anyway?
Let's get political.
"WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET MAAAARIEEEDD?????"
“I feel like a lot of their liquor has snakes in it"
"I ONLY use Tinder when I'm pooping."