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Kristen Bell Explained Why She And Dax Shepard Go To Therapy Separately To "Complain" About Each Other

"By the time we meet up in the evening, we love each other again."

Posted on June 29, 2021, at 9:37 a.m. ET

If there's one thing we can count on with Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard, it's that they're always going to be honest about the ups and downs in their relationship.

Cindy Ord / Getty Images

The couple — who have been together for 14 years and married for 8 — are always each other's biggest supporters, from Kristen's sweet Father's Day posts to Dax revealing how his wife helped him through his recent relapse.

But they're also open about the more challenging elements of their marriage — and their dependence on therapy.

Valerie Macon / AFP via Getty Images

Back in 2017, Dax told Us Weekly that the pair are "opposites," admitting it takes "a tremendous amount of work and therapy for [them] to coexist."

And last year, around the beginning of quarantine, they admitted to being "at each other's throats" due to the increased amount of free time spent together at home.

"I love spending time with [Dax] and he loves spending time with me," Kristen told Entertainment Tonight last April. "But I think what is different about this quarantine time is you have so much more time to think about the other person and their actions and sort of replay what they said or attach a meaning to something that they did and that I could do without."

Well, during an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Tuesday, Kristen told guest host Chelsea Handler exactly how therapy has been helping the couple through lockdown.

The Ellen Show /

"At the beginning of the pandemic, we were at each other's throats," Kristen admitted. "And then all the doors locked in our house. Like, we had to stay inside. And we were like, 'Woof. We need to get a handle on the annoyances.'"

She went on to reveal the pair's joint therapist, Harry, suggested they begin separate sessions in order to "talk shit about each other."

"The reality is, if you're living with one human being — I don't care if it's your partner, or your husband, or your wife, whoever it is, your roommate — you need to brush up on your toolbox," Kristen said. "Because you will find that person annoying. Relationships take work."

"[Our therapist] suggested that we go to therapy separately, kind of so that we could talk shit about each other," she laughed. "And we did! And it's been great!"

The Ellen Show /

"Every two weeks or so I'll see Harry via Zoom and complain about Dax, and then he'll give me all the reasons why I'm wrong, and then Dax will do the same, and then by the time we meet up in the evening, we love each other again because our toolboxes are bigger," Kristen went on.

"When you have a third party moderating any disagreement, it's always the safer place," she added. "Because when two people are talking, defense mechanisms and cortisol and all that stuff, it just messes up the solution."

Earlier this month, Kristen shared a sweet post on Instagram detailing all the things she loves most about her husband for Father's Day.

Nathan Congleton / NBCUniversal via Getty Images

"To the man ... who guides me patiently through parenting when I'm fed up and need it most," she wrote.

"I love you so dearly and I wish there were 364 more Father's Days a year, because you deserve it."

Watch Kristen Bell's Ellen Show appearance in full here:

View this video on YouTube

A BuzzFeed News investigation, in partnership with the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists, based on thousands of documents the government didn't want you to see.