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Jennifer Lawrence Explained Why She "Vanished" From The Spotlight After Opening Up About How People Had Got "Sick" Of Her And "Were Not Pleased" By Her Existence

"I just think everybody had gotten sick of me. I'd gotten sick of me. It had just gotten to a point where I couldn't do anything right."

Posted on November 23, 2021, at 10:28 a.m. ET

Jennifer Lawrence is stepping back into the spotlight with her first movie in two years after all but vanishing from the public eye back in 2019.

Edward Berthelot / Getty Images

The 31-year-old actor, who was a staple on the Hollywood circuit after bursting into the mainstream following the success of The Hunger Games, stepped away to enjoy her private life after the release of X-Men: Dark Phoenix.

Kevork Djansezian / Getty Images

In that time, a lot has happened — the star married partner Cooke Maroney in 2019 before it was announced earlier this year that the couple are expecting their first child together. Oh, and then there's the small matter of a global pandemic, which saw everyone being told to stay at home anyway.

But Jennifer is reentering the picture, starring in the new movie Don't Look Up alongside Leonardo DiCaprio, Meryl Streep, and Jonah Hill.

Tommaso Boddi / Getty Images for Netflix

In a new cover interview with Vanity Fair, Jennifer opened up about stepping away from the spotlight, revealing that she was "nervous" to speak to the world again after so long.

Stephane Cardinale - Corbis via Getty Images

"I'm so nervous," she said at the beginning of the interview. "I haven't spoken to the world in forever. And to come back now, when I have all of these new accessories added to my life that I obviously want to protect…I'm nervous for you. I'm nervous for me. I'm nervous for the readers!"

Of her decision to scale back on public life, Jennifer explained that after working nonstop for so long, she not only felt that the world was tired of her, but that she was sick of herself too.

Albert L. Ortega / Getty Images

"I was not pumping out the quality that I should have," she said of the last batch of movies she'd released. "I just think everybody had gotten sick of me. I'd gotten sick of me. It had just gotten to a point where I couldn't do anything right. If I walked a red carpet, it was, 'Why didn't she run?'"

"I think that I was people-pleasing for the majority of my life," she went on. "Working made me feel like nobody could be mad at me: 'Okay, I said yes, we're doing it. Nobody's mad.' And then I felt like I reached a point where people were not pleased just by my existence. So that kind of shook me out of thinking that work or your career can bring any kind of peace to your soul."

Of working so much, she added: "I didn't have a life. I thought I should go get one."

One of Jennifer's best friends explained that fame and success had started to "fuck with her compass," which was also a reason behind her disappearing from the public eye.

Angela Weiss / AFP via Getty Images

"The protocol of stardom began to kill her creative spirit, to fuck with her compass," said Justine Polsky, her best friend for 13 years. "So, she vanished, which was probably the most responsible way to protect her gifts. And sanity."

Throughout the interview, Jennifer made it clear that she wanted to protect her privacy as much as possible — and, more importantly, the privacy of her unborn child.

Thomas Samson / AFP via Getty Images

"If I was at a dinner party, and somebody was like, 'Oh, my God, you're expecting a baby,' I wouldn't be like, 'God, I can't talk about that. Get away from me, you psycho!'" she said. "But every instinct in my body wants to protect their privacy for the rest of their lives, as much as I can. I don't want anyone to feel welcome into their existence. And I feel like that just starts with not including them in this part of my work."

In fact, she's so intent on protecting her and her family's privacy that Jennifer recently gave her dog, Pippi, to her parents as the paparazzi in New York had come to expect her walks with the pooch in Central Park.

One thing Jennifer did reveal about her personal life was about her marriage to Cooke, and the one thing she enjoys about their relationship the most.

Riccardo Savi / Getty Images for Concordia Summit

"I really enjoy going to the grocery store with him," she said. "I don't know why but it fills me with a lot of joy. I think maybe because it's almost a metaphor for marriage. 'Okay, we've got this list. These are the things we need. Let's work together and get this done.'"

You can read Jennifer's full interview with Vanity Fair here.

A BuzzFeed News investigation, in partnership with the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists, based on thousands of documents the government didn't want you to see.