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It's Not A Tumor, Just Brain Worms.

After doing an MRI on a woman who was thought to have a possible brain tumor, doctors found "something down in her brain stem which is as deep in the brain as you can be.” They said it got there from eating under-cooked pork or not washing hands. This is so worse than eye worms, HOW DID IT GET THERE?!

Jem is Back! (maybe)

This may sound truly outrageous, but Hasbro is considering a Jem comeback. The rumor: Hasbro is resuscitating Jem's licensing, which hints at either a new cartoon or a live-action movie. Hey it worked for Pee Wee.

Baby Falls Under Train! Survives!

In Melbourne, Australia, a baby stroller rolled off railway station platform and into path of train, due to strong winds. Baby and stroller were dragged 30 meters/yards further up track, baby suffered only a cut to forehead. That baby is cooler than Balloon Boy.

Kanye On Leno

Late shows seem to be the place to make public apologies. Best part is when Leno asks Kanye what he thinks his mom would say about this. THATS RIGHT WHERE HIS HURT IS LENO! ALL CAPS HURT.