Which Weird As Hell Tech Founder Are You?

Coffee.

Tea.

Booch.

Some sort of lemon-water concoction.

Freshly cold-pressed juice.

The newly drawn blood of a Stanford freshman.

Burning Man.

Davos.

Burning Man.

A silent meditation retreat in Myanmar whence I came nearly possessionless save for my Apple Watch. And afterward? Hot air ballooning.

Burning Man.

Work.

The shower boulder.

The fully functional blood laboratory.

The infrared sauna.

The killing floor.

The toilet cam.

The carpeting is made entirely from live eels.

Making the world a more open and connected place.

Crushing it.

Piloting my 650.

Helping other entrepreneurs solve their problems.

Curing death.

The newly drawn blood of a Stanford freshman.

I have my own island in Hawaii.

I have my own island in the Caribbean.

I have my own bug out space in New Zealand.

I have my own tunnel system.

Meditation.

I have a wolf.

I always wear the same T-shirt.

I always wear the same turtleneck.

The witch Azealia Banks hath fashioned a protective amulet for me from the hexed hairs of my own beard.

Look, I feast on the blood of Gen Z, okay? Come on.

Azealia Banks was once trapped in my kitchen.

I have used CRISPR to create a new species of microscopic spiders which now course through my veins, attacking free radicals and prolonging my life to infinite ends. (Il a guéri le roi, le voici roi lui-même.) Also my jetpack.