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Which Weird As Hell Tech Founder Are You?

In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is probably just wearing an eye patch as some sort of twee affect.

Mat Honan BuzzFeed News San Francisco Bureau Chief

Posted on February 21, 2019, at 7:27 p.m. ET

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What kind of beverage do you start your day with?

Coffee.

Tea.

Booch.

Some sort of lemon-water concoction.

Freshly cold-pressed juice.

The newly drawn blood of a Stanford freshman.
Where do you go to unwind?

Burning Man.

Davos.

Burning Man.

A silent meditation retreat in Myanmar whence I came nearly possessionless save for my Apple Watch. And afterward? Hot air ballooning.

A silent meditation retreat in Myanmar whence I came nearly possessionless save for my Apple Watch. And afterward? Hot air ballooning.

Burning Man.

Work.
What's the most surprising architectural detail in your home?

The shower boulder.

The fully functional blood laboratory.

The infrared sauna.

The killing floor.

The toilet cam.

The carpeting is made entirely from live eels.
What's your passion?

Making the world a more open and connected place.

Crushing it.

Piloting my 650.

Helping other entrepreneurs solve their problems.

Curing death.

The newly drawn blood of a Stanford freshman.
What is your plan for "The Event"?

I have my own island in Hawaii.

I have my own island in the Caribbean.

I have my own bug out space in New Zealand.

I have my own tunnel system.

Meditation.

I have a wolf.
What is your trademark quirk?

I always wear the same T-shirt.

I always wear the same turtleneck.

The witch Azealia Banks hath fashioned a protective amulet for me from the hexed hairs of my own beard.

The witch Azealia Banks hath fashioned a protective amulet for me from the hexed hairs of my own beard.

Look, I feast on the blood of Gen Z, okay? Come on.

Azealia Banks was once trapped in my kitchen.

I have used CRISPR to create a new species of microscopic spiders which now course through my veins, attacking free radicals and prolonging my life to infinite ends. (Il a guéri le roi, le voici roi lui-même.) Also my jetpack.

I have used CRISPR to create a new species of microscopic spiders which now course through my veins, attacking free radicals and prolonging my life to infinite ends. (Il a guéri le roi, le voici roi lui-même.) Also my jetpack.

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Mat Honan is the San Francisco bureau chief for BuzzFeed News.

Contact Mat Honan at mat.honan@buzzfeed.com.

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A BuzzFeed News investigation, in partnership with the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists, based on thousands of documents the government didn't want you to see.