As you know by now, in 2020, the United States will put a woman on the $10 bill.
Why the Treasury Department is altering the $10, which features the father of the American financial system, rather than the $20, which features the administrator of the Trail of Tears, is unclear.
But it doesn't matter, because they are, and here are the rules:
1. A woman's getting added to the $10.
2. Alexander Hamilton is staying on the bill.
3. The government does not put living people on money.
They didn't really give details on how exactly this will work. Presumably, the woman will go on the front of the new bill, and Hamilton will go on the back or in a watermark, but who knows, maybe the disembodied heads of Alexander Hamilton, Margaret Sanger, and Ayn Rand will float, side-by-side, like an ABBA album.
Again, it's unclear.
All we know is that Hamilton's staying, and a woman's joining him there, and they're going to pull that off somehow.
1. Betsy Ross stitching a portrait of herself stitching a portrait of Alexander Hamilton.
2. Jackie Kennedy, smirking confidently, on a sofa next to a bust of Alexander Hamilton, festooned with a string of pearls and her hat, perched at a jaunty angle.
3. Eleanor Roosevelt sitting on Alexander Hamilton's shoulders at Bonnaroo.
4. Alexander Hamilton and Elizabeth Cady Stanton on a jet ski with an American flag on the back, which then turns into a watermark on the bill.
5. Front of the bill: Edith Wharton behind the wheel of a car, as pictured through the windshield. Back of the bill: Hamilton, in the car behind, as seen in her rear view — with Wharton's arched eyebrow visible in the mirror, as well.
6. Clara Barton, Alexander Hamilton, and Grandma Moses sitting through a really torturous HR seminar on sexual harassment.
7. The end of Return of the Jedi, wherein Anakin, Yoda, and Obi-Wan are joined by Alexander Hamilton and Rosa Parks.
8. Helen Keller and Alexander Hamilton dressed up in a couple's Halloween costume, but, whimsically, the gender roles are reversed; for instance, Keller is a fireman, and Hamilton is the dalmatian.
9. Betty Friedan holding the severed head of Alexander Hamilton.
10. Emily Dickinson and Alexander Hamilton, together and yet alone and desolate, at one end of a bar as others boisterously celebrate New Years behind them.
11. Alexander Hamilton, Sacagawea, and Georgia O'Keeffe smoking on a curb at 2 a.m.
12. Alexander Hamilton and his mistress.