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This Is What 18 People Think A Sloth Sounds Like

They're cute, they're weird, they're highly scientific.

Posted on July 15, 2014, at 1:07 p.m. ET

1. This lady was pretty confident she knew what was up.

2. And her friend wanted to encapsulate the sloth-y slowness.

3. This cutie had some big ideas about sloths but was a lil shy on the mic.

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4. This lady thinks that sloths sound like they're eating spaghetti:

5. This guy believes that sloths just crawl around almost saying their own name:

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6. This lady was not buying that sloths even make sounds at all.

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(She says she's a lawyer, so maybe she didn't want the powerful sloth lobby coming after her for misrepresentation.)

7. And this lil guy had some pretty strong opinions:

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8. The gargling theory:

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9. The...uh...grunting theory:

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10. And this guy thinks there's a chirping thing going on:

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11. Maybe a sloth sounds like that thing that sucks the spit out of your mouth at the dentist?

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12. And this guy believes sloths are unimpressed and speak perfect English:

13. This lady believes the world is powered by sloth snortles:

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14. And this guy's theory involves snortle-squeaks:

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15. This girl perfectly encapsulated the slothy pace of a sloth sound.

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16. While her brother took a more *meepy* tone:

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17. Meanwhile their mom went the way of an owl/monkey combo.

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18. But dad really went all out:

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19. Nothing was quite as perfect as this family's symphony, though:

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And the truth, for which all humans and sloths are eternally searching for? It's right here:

A BuzzFeed News investigation, in partnership with the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists, based on thousands of documents the government didn't want you to see.

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