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Please Look At Steven Segal Lovingly Petting The President Of Belarus's Melons


Posted on August 25, 2016, at 12:05 p.m. ET

Steven Seagal has had a pretty great life post–action movie career, what with his becoming BFFs with Russian president Vladimir Putin and other things as well, probably.

Ria Novosti / Reuters

But this...this surely blows any of Seagal's recent adventures completly out of the water.

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For those who are confused, that was the former star of [insert whatever Seagal's most popular movie was here] and Alexander Lukashenko, the president of Belarus, chatting about produce.

Afp / AFP / Getty Images

Lukashenko, who has been referred to as the last dictator in Europe, is absolutely nuts about his farm and forcing former C-list celebrities to admire the fruits (and vegetables) of his labor.

Seagal, who was in Belarus to work with a video game developer, seemed at times uncertain just why he was meeting Lukashenko on his farm, as seen in this picture of him pensively eating a carrot.

Afp / AFP / Getty Images

Seagal was then forced to awkwardly pat one of Lukashenko's ripe melons, before being made to hold it, exclaim "Wow!" and wonder where his life went wrong.

Anyway, here's a picture of Steven Seagal cradling a dictator's melons.

Afp / AFP / Getty Images

A BuzzFeed News investigation, in partnership with the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists, based on thousands of documents the government didn't want you to see.