"Let's say I'm debating Pocahontas, I’ll do this. I'm going to get one of those little kits. In the middle of the debate when she proclaims she is of Indian heritage because her mother said she has high cheekbones — that's her only evidence. That her mother said she has high cheekbones. We'll take that little kit and say — but we have to do it gently. Because we're in the #MeToo generation so we have to be very gentle. We will very gently take that kit and slowly toss it, hoping it doesn't hit her or injure her arm, even though it probably only weighs about two probably only weighs about two ounces, and we will say, I will give you $1 million to your favorite charity, paid for by Trump if you take the test and it shows you are an Indian. And let's see what she does. I have a feeling she will say no."
2. On former president George H.W. Bush:
“And by the way, you know all of the rhetoric: ‘Thousand points of light.’ What the hell was that? What does that mean? I know one thing: 'Make America Great Again' we understand. ‘Putting America First’ we understand. ‘Thousand points of light?’ I never got that one. What the hell is that? Has anyone figured that out? It was put out by a Republican.”
3. On Rep. Maxine Waters:
"I said it the other day, yes, she is a low-IQ individual, Maxine Waters. I said it the other day. High — I mean, honestly, she's somewhere in the mid-sixties, I believe that."
4. On John McCain:
"You all remember that evening somebody came down with a thumbs down after campaigning for years he was going to repeal and replace."
5. On Vladimir Putin:
“Now they're saying it with Putin. Well Putin is highly prepared. And Trump, will he be prepared for the meeting? Trust me, we'll be just fine. Fake news. Bad people. Will he be prepared? Will he be prepared? And I might even end up having a good relationship. But they're going, Will President Trump be prepared? You know, President Putin is KGB. And this and that. You know what? Putin's fine. He's fine. We're all fine. We're people. Will I be prepared? Totally prepared. I've been preparing for this stuff my whole life. They don't say that.”
6. On Democrats:
"A vote for the Democrats in November is a vote to let MS-13 run wild in our communities. To let drugs pour into our cities and to take jobs and benefits away from our hard-working Americans, and we are not letting it happen. Democrats want anarchy. They don't know who they are playing with."
7. On the media:
"These guys, the crooked press, they are so dishonest. Fake news. They are the fake news media. I see the way they write. They are so dishonest, and I don't mean all of them. Some of the finest people I know are journalists. It's hard to believe when I say this. I hate to say it, but I'll say it. 75% of those people are downright dishonest. They are fake. They quote sources. A source within the Trump organization said — they don't have a source. They never use names anymore. Jim Smith said that Donald Trump is a bad guy. They don't do that anymore. They say, a source within the administration.They make the sources. They don't exist in many cases. Anytime you say — I saw one of them say, 15 anonymous sources — I don't have 15 people in the White House. I don't get it. These are really bad people."
“I have broken more Elton John records, he seems to have a lot of records. And I, by the way, I don’t have a musical instrument. I don’t have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ. And lots of other people helping. No, we’ve broken a lot of records. We’ve broken virtually every record. Because you know, look I only need this space. They need much more room. For basketball, for hockey and all of the sports, they need a lot of room. We don’t need it. We have people in that space. So we break all of these records. Really we do it without like, the musical instruments. This is the only musical: the mouth. And hopefully, the brain attached to the mouth. Right? The brain, more important than the mouth, is the brain. The brain is much more important.”