Who Was The Biggest Loser Of 2016?

Let's just start with the most obvious, shall we?

Nothing went the way it was supposed to for Hillary Clinton in 2016. Bernie Sanders sapped her momentum in the primaries, leading to a drawn-out battle and an ugly convention. She was forever hounded by her decision to use a private email server as secretary of state — something that the FBI brought up again in the final, crucial stage of the election. Then, the odds-on favorite stunned political observers by losing the presidency to the man who she had warned would bring about the apocalypse. Oh yeah, she also caught pneumonia.

Time to go for a long walk in the woods.

How do you come to terms with the fact that the man who is going to succeed you as president is the same guy who was the leading proponent of the conspiracy accusing you of being a secret foreigner, who accused you of founding ISIS, who implied you sympathize and conspire with terrorists, and who has vowed to undo your major political achievements? Smile and shake hands for the cameras!

Jeb! The favored son of a political dynasty was the man to beat at the start of the 2015 Republican primary, until he very much wasn't. Bullied by Donald Trump and forgotten by voters, his campaign of perpetual sadness was euthanized in February. He was last seen driving a limo at the Emmys.

Please clap.

New Jersey's least favorite current governor climbed aboard the Trump train in February, only to spend months defending his candidate despite a string of controversial comments — even those Christie himself conceded were "indefensible."

And for what? After the Bridgegate scandal again reared its ugly head, Christie was too toxic to lead Trump's transition team, let alone find a place in the cabinet.

His most memorable 2016 achievement was arguably becoming a living, breathing iteration of the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme.

You know that saying about never writing anything in an email you wouldn't want the world to read? Well, Hillary Clinton's campaign chair learned that the hard way when his emails were hacked, purportedly by Russian agents, and then published by WikiLeaks.

The whistleblowing website released thousands of pages of Podesta correspondence in multiple installments, ensuring weeks of embarrassing stories and ensuring that the words "Clinton" and "emails" remained stuck in the headlines.

We can't talk about emails without acknowledging 2016's most hated political operative — at least, if you ask Bernie Sanders supporters. The release of hacked Democratic National Committee emails appeared to show that Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz oversaw a group that had favored Clinton's campaign during the Democratic primaries, forcing her to step down from a position she had held for five years. When she appeared the next day at the party's convention, she was booed and heckled.

What really is Aleppo, anyway? Who among us can really name a single foreign leader?

His political career already in tatters because of past sexting controversies, Anthony Weiner's 2016 sexting led to his wife leaving him, a child welfare investigation, an FBI investigation, and the potential downfall of Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign.

Poor, poor Merrick Garland. He cried happy tears in front of reporters when President Obama announced him as his pick to replace Justice Antonin Scalia on the Supreme Court. “This is the greatest honor of my life,” he said. “For me there could be no higher public service."

Welp, not so much.

There were two people filmed making lewd remarks in that infamous 2005 Access Hollywood tape. One went on to be elected president of the United States; the other was fired in disgrace from his promising career at the Today show.

Oh, also, Bush got schooled by Al Roker on live TV at the Rio Olympics. That was awesome.

Speaking of the Olympics! Be honest: If we had asked you before the games to name one athlete who would lie to the police after a drunken night out, become an international fugitive, get suspended from their sport, lose a bunch of sponsors, and piss off an entire country of people, you probably would have said Ryan Lochte.

Oh, and he didn't even win Dancing With the Stars. Smdh.

Before the Olympics even began, US soccer goalkeeper Hope Solo was already having a rough time, getting trolled by Brazilians after tweeting about the Zika virus. Then, she became the games' sorest loser when she called the Swedish team "cowards" after they beat Team USA in a penalty shoot-out. Rather than going home with a medal, she was suspended for six months and had her contract terminated, effectively ending her career in tears.

While Brazil survived hosting the Olympics, its first female president was not so lucky. Dilma Rousseff was impeached due to a massive corruption scandal named for a car wash. She didn't even get to preside over the Rio Games! Sad!

Step 1: Appease right-wing members of your party by agreeing to hold a referendum on membership to the European Union that no one expects to succeed.

Step 2: Don't foresee that a populist movement will gain enough support to leap to a surprise victory.

Step 3: Plunge your country into turmoil.

Step 4: End your political career as an international laughing stock.

Step 5: FML.

This whole impeachment scandal was so damn weird. Basically, it turned out South Korean President Park Geun-hye was a big loner whose only friend allegedly manipulated their relationship to make financial gains. Also, equestrian was involved somehow. Anyway, she became super unpopular and was impeached. Shame!

Staying in South Korea, who can forget Samsung, once the country's pride and joy, but now infamous for making phones that catch fire and which airlines won't let you fly with. The Galaxy Note brand is now effectively dead and the fuck-up cost about $5 billion. Still, they pwned Apple in the Supreme Court, at least!!

If you look up the word "irony" in the dictionary, here's what you get: Ken Starr, the former lead investigator of Bill Clinton's sexual conduct in the White House, resigning in disgrace as chancellor and president of Baylor University because his administration failed to properly investigate — wait for it — sexual assault.

One half of Hollywood's most powerful couple had a worse year than the other. After Angelina Jolie filed to divorce him, Brad Pitt was investigated by child services for allegedly verbally and physically assaulting one of their kids. Also, he was in that movie Allied, which was not the best. But he looks like Brad Pitt still so...

OK, where to begin with Johnny Depp? Remember he had to film that painfully awkward video to apologize to the Australian government for sneaking in his dogs while he was filming a movie there? Iconic.

But then his wife, Amber Heard, filed for both divorce and a restraining order against him, alleging that he abused drugs and alcohol and was physically violent. (She later dropped the allegations and donated her divorce settlement to charity).

After Depp altered his tattoo dedicated to Heard from "SLIM" to "SCUM," Harry Potter fans then went nuts when Depp was announced as a cast member in the next Fantastic Beasts film. Yikes.