Here's A Foolproof Method To Make Your Choice On Election Day
Geda the Monkey has seen the future and it is Trump.
Tired of waiting for election results? Still somehow undecided? Why bother with watching the "polls" when you could instead just rely on the intuition of a monkey?
Here's how it works: set up a stage with banners and life-sized cutouts of the two candidates, Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton, next to the local scenery of your choice.
Next print the words "King of Prediction" on a shirt — a yellow one for good luck — and put it on the animal you want to ~empower.~
(Geda the five-year-old monkey previously successfully predicted Portugal winner of the 2016 European Football Championship, so you know he has experience in these matters.)
Finally, let your furry forecaster make the choice between the two cutouts. And there you have it!
So yeah, whether you think the election was rigged or not, Geda did pick Trump as the next US president on Thursday.
We'll see if this prediction looms over the campaign over the next four days like Paul the Octopus once did over the South Africa World Cup teams he didn't pick.