26 Reasons To Be Thankful For Crack-Smoking Mayor Rob Ford This Holiday Season
When you're passing around the stuffing, remember the Canadian mayor who is an American hero.
Rob Ford, role model, is wonderful and showers us with reasons aplenty to be thankful.
He hasn't lied once in his life.
He's a man of the people.
He is adored by children.
He reminds you to laugh in the face of life's obstacles or serious crack-smoking allegations.
He lives your wildest dreams.
He makes exquisite fashion decisions.
He singlehandedly brought this photography angle back en vogue.
He balls out of control with Drake. Nbd.
He wears these goggles to remove graffiti like an actual boss.
He acts like you did before society and adulthood forced you to change.
No seriously he never grew up. There's no evidence he's not one of Peter Pan's lost boys.
He sparks creativity.
And exists as a muse for artists.
He dressed like Bob the Builder that one time.
He cleans up the neighborhood with fantastic neckwear.
He teaches that practice makes perfect.
He washed a cow once.
He has been known to boogie.
He coaches impressionable youth and they love him.
He uses eloquent prose.
His rendition of the nutcracker inspired you.
He is culturally sensitive.
He gives tough love when you need it. Like if you're a godforsaken cyclist. Sorry you died but sorta your fault bro.
A homeless shelter in every ward? LOL no. Watch him educate on how that compares to public lynchings.
He reminds you to always be sure of your skill-set.
He knows power isn't everything. Mostly because he has been stripped of a bunch of his powers as mayor by no-fun city council members.
OK, so we're not thankful for everything Rob Ford-related.