As you should know by now, Australia is having an election on Saturday.
The election campaign has been a very serious affair with lots of serious announcements and serious debate. It has also been completely broken and stupid.
So for your enjoyment, please find below 54 moments from the campaign that made absolutely no sense to anyone, at all:
1. Campaigning was tough.
Bill Shorten asked this grown man if he was having a good school holidays. "It doesn't affect me", the man replies.
2.
I thought we'd reach peak absurd this election campaign #ausvotes But no. From @AmyRemeikis' unrivalled live blog.
3.
Ah the perils of the campaign street walk. Scott Morrison says “ni hao” to an Asian voter in Strathfield plaza, she responds: “I’m Korean.” #ausvotes
4.
PM gets a laugh from the crowd when he says ... I'm no Asian languages expert so I'm just going to say g'day ... #ausvotes #AusVotes2019
5.
Watch the awkward exchange between @MikeSmithson7 and Adelaide Liberal candidate @ShaunOsborn1 after he sent out 10,000 flyers inviting constituents to a ‘listening post’ at a cafe, but didn’t ask the owner. Report in 7NEWS at 4pm and 6pm. https://t.co/RlScYNneh5 #ausvotes #7NEWS
6. Social media posts attracted a lot of attention.
Reading about what's going on in Australian politics
7.
A mistake anyone can make on a hectic campaign trail: Congratulating yourself from the wrong account. #humevotes #ausvotes2019
8.
The election has been called #auspol #politas #AustraliaVotes
9.
Scott Morrison on Twitter https://t.co/CligJNWzvy
10. Onions were eaten.
Maybe @TonyAbbottMHR is on to something here... @onionsaust, what do you reckon?
11. TV was watched.
The PM takes a break from campaigning to watch Game of Thrones. Insert 45th Parliament based gag here @politicsabc #ausvotes
12. Apologies were made about strip clubs visits, complete with declarations of no longer being "of pubic interest".
One Nation's Steve Dickson resigns. His statement says "I found the footage difficult to watch....I am also deeply remorseful for my disrespectful comments towards women." #ausvotes #auspol
13. Politicians couldn't stop talking about a horse.
.@ScottMorrisonMP on Winx: @winx_horse has captured Australia's heart. The whole team epitomizes the idea of 'a fair go for those who have a go.' MORE: https://t.co/ykweMevBOK #weekendlive
14.
Opposition leader Bill Shorten watching the Winx race - “I love it when the favourite wins” @abcnews @politicsabc #AusVotes19
15.
"He's a big unit and you're not going to put a big unit on a horse if you want it to run fast." -PM on why Mason Cox shouldn't ride Winx (And you shouldn't burden the economy with taxes) #auspol
16.
So confused. Who is Scott Morrison? Only kidding. Please give me citizenship. -❤ Mason Cox https://t.co/YkDzdkQqlL
17. Nonsensical quotes were made.
Michael McCormack just gave this quote in Forth, Tasmania: "I'm only sorry I didn't bring a pocket of nails today because with this soil I could have thrown them in the ground and grown crowbars. That's the sort of potential that we've got here in Tasmania." #ausvotes #auspol
18.
Dear @roboakeshott I’m leaving today. Went swimming and I should lose some weight then I thought what you would say, “beautiful in its ugliness”. So many memories Rob; picnics, sunblock, you supporting the Green/Labor/Independent alliance. Now a future of electric cars. Cheers
19.
Scott Morrison is like the Energizer Bunny on steroids.
20.
It is my vision for this country as your Prime Minister to keep the Promise of Australia to all Australians.
21.
"We've brought the budget back into surplus next year"
22.
Josh Frydenberg says Labor will tax your aspiration, tax your inspiration, tax your perspiration. Did he forgot EXPIRATION because - DEATH TAXES?!? (NB: not actual Labor policy) #auspol #ausvotes
23.
Bill Shorten asked about Angus Taylor giving himself a big pat on the back: "I suppose the theory would be that if you don't like yourself, why should anyone else?" "He looked in the mirror and said: Damn, you're a handsome sort of rooster, aren't ya?" #auspol #AusVotes19
24. Sheep were sheared.
An audible intake of breath from the Prime Minister’s staff as he turns his hand to shearing on a property north of Dubbo @politicsabc #ausvotes
25. Wood carvings were made.
Eric Abetz has prevented the PM with a personalised wood carving
26.
27. Some people didn't give a stuff.
“My wealth is four thousand million dollars, do you think I give a stuff about what you personally think?” @CliveFPalmer to @Deborah_Knight. #9Today
28. Impressions were made.
We’re off to a flying start: this morning Scott Morrison told FM radio he played AC/DC’s Back in Black in the party room before the budget, and repeated his “very nice” Borat impression #ausvotes
29. TV debates were had.
4 SCREENS!!! #LeadersDebate #auspol
30.
This episode is heartbreaking!
31. Jokes weren't taken.
.@billshortenmp: If you win you'll have more people to promote because so many of your current ministry is leaving. @ScottMorrisonMP: No need to get nasty. Smile Bill, it was a joke. Watch live: https://t.co/WPRu9HztQ6 #ausvotes
32. People ran faster than their children.
“The whole nation will be bloody well sold off unless there’s a few people like myself around!” @RealBobKatter tells us about his plans to create another 200,000 jobs in North Queensland and promises he'll be around "no longer' than another 12 years. #9Today
33. Pop culture references were made.
#GOT concerns about Bill’s higher taxes? #GameOfThrones
34.
Don’t let these dinosaurs get away with more cuts to schools and hospitals. Enrol to vote by 8PM Thursday! 🦖 https://t.co/h3yY7TZoqv 🦖 #auspol
35.
The economy is strong with this one. #StarWarsDay #MayThe4thBeWithYou
36.
@LiberalAus Hey mate, fixed it for you xx
37. Music videos were released. And then promptly taken down.
Exclusive: Sony/ATV's Damian Trotter said he found it "ironic and disturbing that an Australian politician responsible for legislation in the parliament should have such flagrant disregard for the law”. https://t.co/egdZBq61NU
38. Space was invaded.
39.
I’ve been taking on space invaders all my life.
40.
This is Galaga. https://t.co/IKOhckQDlh
41.
Scott Morrison has laughed off Bill Shorten’s space-invader comments at the debate, comparing him to “pac-man” who is going to eat up everything you’ve earned.... Not sure how long we can keep extending these computer game metaphors for. Two weeks to go. @politicsabc
42.
The Prime Minister on Bill Shorten, via 2GB: "He was talking about space invaders the other day. The only space he's going to invade is people's wallets." #auspol
43. There was twerking.
This the moment Tony Abbott's supporters were confronted by a twerking protester.
44. And surprise handshakes.
That moment when a former PM surprises you on air @andrewprobyn: You snuck up behind me Paul Keating: I've done that a bit of that in my life
45. Eggings failed.
.@tomwconnell: It looks like the egg basically bounces straight off @ScottMorrisonMP. This has just happened at the Country Women's Association. MORE: https://t.co/cnxAXrLKY3 #newsday
46.
A protester thrown an egg the Prime Minister Scott Morrison at an event in Albury (it didn’t break). #auspol #ausvotes @politicsabc
47. Memes were explained.
Ok internet let’s work this out: what on earth is Bill Shorten referring to here? #ausvotes #Leadersdebate
48. Teens got excited.
Bill Shorten is being mobbed by a crowd of teenage girls at St Joseph's Catholic College, East Gosford on the NSW Central Coast #AusVotes2019 #auspol
49. Dancing featured.
The only political spin you’ll get from me is a pirouette. #Vote1 Alex Dyson for #Wannon #auspol #AUSVote2019
50. A Buffy reboot was floated.
Paul Keating says he has never seen someone "as mean" as Peter Dutton in his 50 years since entering Parliament and says voters have a chance "to drive a stake through his dark political heart" on Saturday #auspol #ausvotes
51. Dinosaurs appeared.
Liberal MP Craig Kelly denies threatening to punch a climate change activist dressed up as a dinosaur. "I may have gesticulated and pointed but raising my fist? No." Mr Kelly did not deny telling the man to "f--- off". https://t.co/kdSgvNCLos #auspol #AusVotes19
52. Bingo was called.
.@ScottMorrisonMP calling the bingo at the Panthers Club in Port Macquarie The marginal seat of Cowper is held by the Nationals, but is at risk of falling to Independent Rob Oakeshott @2GB873 @NewsTalk4BC @3AW693 @6PR @1395FIVEaa
53. The end of life was forecast.
Kerri-Anne Kennerley has hinted that she probably won't be voting for Labor this weekend... saying it will be 'the end of life as we know it' if Bill Shorten gets elected. https://t.co/E3hRh7TarR
54. And a crocodile called the election.
Update! Burt the Croc DID pick Shorten as the winner.