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Classic Advice, Turtle Style
Here are ten well-known sayings retold from a reptilian point of view. Honestly, turtles are clever animals. We should really listen to them more often.
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If Animals Could Talk
Walk on the Wild Side, currently airing on BBC One, takes a stab at what animals might say as they go about their daily routine.
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Bean Sprouts: For Serious Eaters Only
True tortoise foodies know the fibrous texture of bean sprouts must be accompanied by an appropriately dramatic soundtrack.
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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Van IRL
23-year-old Brittney Schneck converted her '94 Dodge Caravan into a convincing replica of the classic mean, green turtle machine. The old adage is true—when life gives you '94 Dodge Caravans, make turtle vans.
Tanner Greenring
The Reverse Job Application
Andrew Horner was having a hard time getting a job via the traditional methods so he flipped the process all upside down and stuff and came up with this. I wonder if it worked? That was rhetorical, I really don't care. [ Reddit ]
Bwgan
Tortoise Demolishes a Mini Jack-o-lantern!
looks tasty
Say OMG
50 Really Happy Turtles
I dare you to grin wider than these guys.
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Strong Turtle Opens Door
Rumbero is a strong turtle
Say OMG
This Turtle is So Drunk Right Now
I blame BuzzFeed. What a bunch of lushes.
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Happy Turtle Is Hungry
It’s a slow turtle day (isn’t it always?) so all I’ve got for you today is a seriously happy turtle enjoying his dinner. (via)
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Toddler Mutant Ninja Turtles
Like Muppet Babies, with weapons!
Rob Scott
Tortoise On Halloween: "Meh."
What I learned from this video: 1. Jack-o-lantern innards can double as tortoise food. 2. Tortoises only care about Halloween decorations insofar as they’re edible. (via)
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Abraham Gets Stuck
Abraham the tortoise has a problem weighing heavily upon him. And I mean this literally, because he’s managed to get a plastic tub stuck on his back. No worries, though. He can get it off himself, it’s just going to take a while… (via)
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Tortoise Just Won't Go
Here’s a fairly hilarious newscast of zoo employees trying to convince a really stubborn tortoise to leave his hut. If I weighed 464 pounds I wouldn’t let anyone move me either. (via)
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Tortoise Wants a Ride
Children today are pretty spoiled. I really wanted one of these mini motorized cars when I was younger, but never got one. You should totally let that tortoise have a turn, kid. I know how he feels. (via)
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Flipping Over a Turtle
Turtles have difficulty breathing when they’re flipped on their back. This is the only safe way to flip over a turtle. (via)
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My Favorite Guest at NYCC
Was a turtle. What? (via)
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Turtle Wants to Sit in Your Lap
When Sam the turtle sees an empty lap, there’s no stopping him from crawling into it. (via)
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The Tortoise Elevator
Apparently, the tortoise in this video has a bad habit of trying to escape his enclosure by climbing over the wall. So to keep the tortoise from falling and hurting himself, his owner devised a really clever elevator to get him to the ground safely. See, physics is useful! (via)
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Tortoise Eats Pumpkin
I will never get tired of videos of tortoises eating. This time the nomming is in the spirit of the season! (via)
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