Tortoise Meets Turkeys
Here's a brief summary for those of you who are too lazy to view the video. Turkeys: "Whoa, what the hell is that thing?" Tortoise: "Meh."
Guess The Toy Mental Illness!
The Awl found these psychiatrically-challenged German toys, presumably designed to teach small children about various mental illnesses. But the German descriptions are (surprise!) totally weird! I know the turtle is depressed, but can anyone inform me/the public about Sly's struggles? I'm at a loss.
An Unexpected Visitor
This Shiba Inu is a little confused by the Red Eared Slider squatting in his doghouse. Do you think he'll ever get it back?
Tiny Tortoise EXPLODES (but cutely)
This baby tortoise is eating too much lettuce. And you know what happens when a tortoise eats too much lettuce. (via Nick)
Gentle Giants
Snapping turtles may look scary, but sometimes all they want is a good neck rub. Don't we all?
Tortoise Chases Raccoon Out of Yard
Keep your backyard clear of unwanted wildlife with a Sulcata Tortoise. (via reddit)
Tortoise Not Dancing to "Satisfaction"
Apparently, not all Chelonians like to dance.
Turtle Trying to Skateboard On a Skateboard
Turtles: still good at being meta.
September is Itty Bitty Turtle Time
Public Service Announcement: In North America, September is prime hatching season. Be careful not to step on any of the coin-sized turtles trying to make their way to water -- like this adorable little guy!
Emoticon Faces Acted Out by Turtles
Turtles and tortoises are very expressive, despite lacking lips.
Home Protection 101
Professional burglars are used to dealing with dogs. If you want to keep your house safe, the trick is to keep the nogoodniks guessing.
Tortoise Bullies Cats
No tails are safe with this tortoise around.
The Beach is Full of Fail
I don't know what's the worst part of this video. That the turtle flips itself onto its back while scaling a wall of coral, or that the guy who runs to help the turtle manages to moon the camera in the process. I'll leave it to you guys to decide.
Flying Sea Turtles
No, no one's holding them up. I don't see any hands. What are you talking about?
How to Tell if You're in Love
Oh, the agony of heartbreak.
The Turtle Roll
Do people still Rick Roll? Because turtle rolling is so much better. Even if you don't plan to prank your friends, the turtle is still pretty cute.
Snapping Turtle Senses Food
It is a little known fact that most turtle shells are equipped with hi-tech food tracking devices.
Cleto Meets Pete
Dogs don't have any manners.
Asthmatic Turtle
Just a day in the life of an ordinary reptile suffering from asthma.
Man Throws Tortoise in Wheelie Bin
Ah, sweet parody.