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Tortoise Meets Turkeys
Here's a brief summary for those of you who are too lazy to view the video. Turkeys: "Whoa, what the hell is that thing?" Tortoise: "Meh."
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Guess The Toy Mental Illness!
The Awl found these psychiatrically-challenged German toys, presumably designed to teach small children about various mental illnesses. But the German descriptions are (surprise!) totally weird! I know the turtle is depressed, but can anyone inform me/the public about Sly's struggles? I'm at a loss.
Amanda Dobbins
An Unexpected Visitor
This Shiba Inu is a little confused by the Red Eared Slider squatting in his doghouse. Do you think he'll ever get it back?
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Tiny Tortoise EXPLODES (but cutely)
This baby tortoise is eating too much lettuce. And you know what happens when a tortoise eats too much lettuce. (via Nick)
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Gentle Giants
Snapping turtles may look scary, but sometimes all they want is a good neck rub. Don't we all?
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Tortoise Chases Raccoon Out of Yard
Keep your backyard clear of unwanted wildlife with a Sulcata Tortoise. (via reddit)
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Tortoise Not Dancing to "Satisfaction"
Apparently, not all Chelonians like to dance.
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Turtle Trying to Skateboard On a Skateboard
Turtles: still good at being meta.
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September is Itty Bitty Turtle Time
Public Service Announcement: In North America, September is prime hatching season. Be careful not to step on any of the coin-sized turtles trying to make their way to water -- like this adorable little guy!
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Emoticon Faces Acted Out by Turtles
Turtles and tortoises are very expressive, despite lacking lips.
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Home Protection 101
Professional burglars are used to dealing with dogs. If you want to keep your house safe, the trick is to keep the nogoodniks guessing.
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Tortoise Bullies Cats
No tails are safe with this tortoise around.
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The Beach is Full of Fail
I don't know what's the worst part of this video. That the turtle flips itself onto its back while scaling a wall of coral, or that the guy who runs to help the turtle manages to moon the camera in the process. I'll leave it to you guys to decide.
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Flying Sea Turtles
No, no one's holding them up. I don't see any hands. What are you talking about?
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How to Tell if You're in Love
Oh, the agony of heartbreak.
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The Turtle Roll
Do people still Rick Roll? Because turtle rolling is so much better. Even if you don't plan to prank your friends, the turtle is still pretty cute.
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Snapping Turtle Senses Food
It is a little known fact that most turtle shells are equipped with hi-tech food tracking devices.
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Cleto Meets Pete
Dogs don't have any manners.
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Asthmatic Turtle
Just a day in the life of an ordinary reptile suffering from asthma.
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Man Throws Tortoise in Wheelie Bin
Ah, sweet parody.
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