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Myrtle the Turtle Gets Stuck

Myrtle the Turtle is a HUMONGOUS Green Sea Turtle that lives at the New England Aquarium. Being a giant turtle there is a pretty sweet deal. When you find yourself stuck between a rock and a hard place, you've got your own diving team to come give you a hand.

The Adventures of Ic-Chan the Robot Turtle

This is in Japanese so I don't always understand what's being said, but it's still totally adorable. There's a ROBOT turtle, a kidnapping sequence, and battle-scarred Red Eared Slider who comes to save the day. HOW EPIC IS THAT? The good news is that haru0425 has a whole channel of these to watch. Anyone want to translate for me?

Happy Death Day, Super Mario!

Wake up, people! Stop idolizing Mario Mario, better known to you as the "protagonist" of the Super Mario franchise. Countless turtles and other innocent creatures have been slaughtered by his stompy feet. Here's a different perspective for those of you with enlightened minds.

Guess The Toy Mental Illness!

The Awl found these psychiatrically-challenged German toys, presumably designed to teach small children about various mental illnesses. But the German descriptions are (surprise!) totally weird! I know the turtle is depressed, but can anyone inform me/the public about Sly's struggles? I'm at a loss.