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P-P-P-Platypus Likes T-T-T-Turtles
Sometimes memes that are nearing the end of their trip around the internet latch on to another bigger, better meme to try and make themselves popular again. At least, that's my explanation for this.
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Snapping WTFery
This woman is annoyed that a snapping turtle moved into her swimming pool. She should give him a break! It obviously took a lot of effort to get there. That pool isn't the slightest bit turtle-accessible.
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Wheel Turtle
Thinking of visiting North Dakota? Don't miss the Wheel Turtle. In 1982, George Gottbreht erected a gigantic sculpture of a turtle by recycling 2,000 steel wheel rims. Charmingly, the sculpture's head is capable of bobbing up and down. But if you can't make it out to Dunseith, you can take a virtual tour.
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I Win.
Guess who's cooler than that turtle-hater Justin Bieber?
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The Hare and the Tortoise (1947)
This short film was the Milo and Otis of its day. It ends exactly the way you'd expect it to, but when's the last time you saw a fox, an owl, a skunk, and a bunch of random fowl hanging out together? Apparently in 1947.
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Oil's Well That Never Ends
Stephen Colbert and a bunch of marine creatures demonstrate the proper way to express rage over the BP oil spill. I understand why Colbert is mad. After all, he has a sea turtle as a daughter. (via aestheticoctopus)
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I Wanna Be A Turtle
When you're having a bad day, sometimes it helps to think like a turtle. So here's a cheesy turtle tribute, grumpy people of the internet. And if you like Jordan Weller's The Turtle Song, you can purchase it here.
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Kids Sing the TMNT Theme
OK, I know you're thinking that there are lots of videos on the internet with kids singing the Ninja Turtle theme. But they're not wearing costumes like these.
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Some Things Are Beyond Description
I don't know what this is, but I know I like it. It must be art.
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NASTURTLE: Tortoise 500
NASTURTLE is about the need for speed. These reptiles are pure racing beasts. Forget about NASCAR and watch a real race. Seriously, Dale Earnhardt Jr. has nothing on Chocolate the Painted Turtle.
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How to Tell if Your Tortoise is a Replicant
This is an quick and effective test. You will need at least two tortoises. Simply flip over one tortoise, and see if the other comes to help it.
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Turtle & Tortoise Share a Strawberry
Awwww. It's exactly like that scene from Lady and the Tramp. Except they're sloppy reptiles instead of dogs. And they don't have lips, so it's more like awkward headbutting than a kiss. But still, super cute.
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Bowser Quits Kidnapping Peach and Starts Rapping
Move over Jay Z, the Bowser is taking over the rap game. I'm hoping for a Lady Gaga collab real soon.
Dustin D.
The History of Turtle Racing
To honor the National Elementary School Turtle Racing Finals, College Humor is airing a six part mock-umentary about the sport. Episode one explores the unusual history of turtle racing. If anyone wants an expert's opinion (I'm looking at you, compulsive gamblers), my bet is on the box turtle with the whitewall shell.
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Turtle Cheesecake
This is not a post about a tasty dessert with chocolate and pecans. This is a gross misuse of filters, cliche lines, and an innocent reptile. This is turtle cheesecake.
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Snapping Turtle Sees You
There's something slightly disconcerting about a giant turtle watching you through a window. Luckily, this family isn't too shaken up by the turtle's voyeurism. Mom's a champ for giving the turtle a hand.
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Turtle Bookmark
Who wants a boring rectangular strip of paper as a bookmark when you can turn your book into a turtle? Check this turtlemark out. It's creative, cute, and it keeps your place. I approve.
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Tortoise Gump
I don't understand all-human casts, I really don't. Does Hollywood think that tortoises are too slow to to be effective actors? I think this fellow's performance as Forrest Gump is pretty damn good. Run Forrest, Run!
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Rude Turtle
I believe that everything can be improved by adding turtles. Take Rihanna's music, for example. Isn't the Rude Boy video a million times better with a Red Eared Slider in it?
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Creatures of the Mechazoic Era
These seriously impressive sculptures of fossilized robots were created by artist Justin Chase Black of ThrowingChicken.com. Each piece is modeled after an actual creature. You can see more detailed pictures at the artist's DeviantArt page.
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