Let Me Out!
This Abyssinian Tortoise can't wait to get out of his egg. (via Ash)
TMNT Inspiration
Newly-found research suggests that bandana masks were popular in Renaissance Italy, allowing researchers to better understand the inspiration for late 20th century reptilian fashion.
Microsoft Turtle Phone
These days, the Microsoft Turtle phone is looking pretty slick. I think I prefer the original prototype, shown here. (Thanks, Nick!)
The Turtle Rodeo
A woman dives in the water to wrangle a sea turtle. No worries, she's part of an expedition collecting scientific data.
U. F. C. (Unidentified Floating Cutie)
I bet that you don't know what this thing is and you still think that it's cute.
Live Cute Turtles!
The Loggerhead Marinelife Hospital launched their new sea turtle cam today. The Turtle Cam allows internet users to check in on their favorite patients-in-residence as they're cared for by the staff. And now I will resist making the obvious webcam joke. (Via)
The Best of All Possible Worlds
We all knew this was coming, right?
Vintage Nestle Turtles Commercial
Is it just me, or is the guy at :11 Zombie Kid's grandfather?
The Secret of Evolution
A little known fact about Darwin: some of the finer points of The Origin of Species were discovered only after his wife Emma brought Squirtles to his attention.
Oh Snap!
A fish learns an important lesson about snapping turtle anatomy.
Funny Money
I never get tired of "artistic reinterpretations" of American money. This pair of bills is my personal favorite, though.
The Water Scooter
Mr. Crocodile is demonstrating the latest in environmentally safe fresh-water transportation. I admit, this is my preferred method of travel.
Let's Make Each Other Lame Valentines!
The more awful/awesome the better! If you don't have a specific Buzzfeed crush, either give one to the last person who posted or make one for a celebrity/cat. It's really up to you!
Fallout Boy
Jon Stewart addresses Iran's recent announcement that they are now a nuclear state. He also exposes my secret plans for world domination.
Florence Henderson and Muppets Sing "Happy Together"
I give you the best cover EVER of "Happy Together" by the Turtles. Happy Valentine's Day, Buzzfeed!
Hug E Gram
Boy, oh boy! Not only can I send my Valentine a hugging device, but if I order now I can get FREE EVERLASTING ROSES too. Ain't science grand?
Bacon and Cheese Turtleburgers
No worries, turtle fans; these are only replicas of turtles. For more information on these disgusting-yet-creative concoctions and others like them, check out thisiswhyyourefat.com.
TMNT Volkswagen Bus
The Volo Auto Museum in Chicago is proudly displaying the geekest vehicle ever: a working replica of the Ninja Turtle's preferred transport. (Thanks, Ash!)
Get This Turtle Some Coffee!
This baby turtle is most definitely not a morning turtle.
Happy Turtle is Happy
...Maybe a bit too happy.