Spider-Turtle!
Spider-turtle, Spider-turtle, does whatever a Spider-turtle...hurdles? Hm. Guess it doesn't quite work.
Beware!
Sexy tortoises are responsible for .001% of all accidents that occur at home.
Really Cold Sea Turtles
Unseasonable cold weather has endangered the lives of dozens of sea turtles in the southern US. Thankfully, there are rescue teams in various states working to save them. See more video footage from Florida here. If you can spare a dime, the turtles will appreciate it.
I Was Wondering About That Amazon Package...
Now I know why it took so long to get here.
A New Take On the Tortoise and the Hare
There's no racing in this version, just time trials.
Can't Stop Laughing Long Enough to Be Motivational
Yeah, I'm having difficulty coming up for a caption for this one too.
Dear Buzzfeeders
'Nuff said.
Christopher Lee to Release Metal Album
Since turtle news is slow today (as ever), I give you Christopher Lee's forthcoming metal album. Follow the link for music samples. Yes, this is for real.
Angry Bird is Angry
If I didn't have a turtle, I'd want a bird. Maybe I'd want one a little less violent than this one, though.
Turtle (Furry) Power!
I think this is a female TMNT furry. Is it possible to be a turtle furry? Turtles don't have fur, after all.
Turtle Classic Movies
Turtles re-enact classic movies. An oldie, but a goodie -- haven't you dreamed about turtles performing Star Wars? For more turtle parodies, check out the Turtle TV Network.
Cosplay Failures
Oh dear. Sometimes it's best to just pick a different costume. More costume fails (including Bowser) at funtasticus.com.
Jumping Turtle
The turtle is obviously annoyed because its owner was unwilling to pay for the surgery necessary to transition into being a frog.
My, That's a Lot of Turtles.
Despite what you may think, this is not my house. Somewhere in Japan, someone is more turtle-obsessed than I am.
Releasing Baby Sea Turtles
Who doesn't love watching baby sea turtles book it for the ocean? Three cheers for all the volunteers in Costa Rica who helped these little guys get a good start this year.
Nic Cage As Everyone
Ever wonder what someone would look like if they were Nicolas Cage? Wonder no longer, thanks to the Nic Cage as Everyone blog. Nic Cage as Voldemort looks a bit like a turtle, doesn't he?
Hip Hop Tortoise
This tortoise likes hip hop and grapes, but he's not so good at eating grapes.
Ain't No Sunshine
Heartbreaking interspecies love.
Ninja Turtle Origins
The origin of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Apparently, being teenage was totally natural. Everything else? Not so much.
Desert Tortoises Vs. Solar Energy
Roughly two dozen endangered tortoises are holding up the construction of a major solar energy complex. Personally, I side with the tortoises.