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Zelda: Skyward Sword Gets A New Trailer; Wave That Phallus!
I keep forgetting that Skyward Sword exists. Amidst all the gritty, HGH-fueled bullshittery that I’m currently anticipating, it lurks in the background. A new trailer from GDC 11 has dropped, and I’ve consequently remembered how excited I am for this installment. Nothing like a magical romp through a familiar but modified universe to keep it nostalgic stylee. Despite all the Zelda games feeling somewhat derivative of one another, the gameplay is so finely honed, and the formula so delicious, I’ll happily slurp this shit up. Hit the jump for the video.
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California Gets Its Own Nebula; Swank and Cosmic.
Oh shit! Just when you thought that California couldn’t be any more out of touch with reality, the son of a bitch has taken to the cosmos. The California Nebula, or if you want to call it by its slave name, NGC 1499, is straight-up chilling out in Orion’s Arm, in our own goddamn galaxy. We’re famous!
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Sucker Punch Is A Musical! Boneheads’ Boners Shrink.
Everything about Zack Snyder’s forthcoming Sucker Punch has been marketed to the permanently adolescent juvenile boner brigade. Everything. This is a movie that is playing on dudes’ most basic desires to see chicks kick ass in skimpy skirts in environments and scenarios rendered from their comic book and video game infested brains. This marketing has worked on me. Worked well. What blew my mind today was something that the marketing has gone to great lengths to not mention. Sucker Punch has musical numbers. It looks like every dude with arrested development should buckle up, because this movie could very well be Glee for Dudes With Stained Undies.
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Insane Amount of New Batman: Arkham City Images. Get Some.
This week, Warner Bros. Games launched a new website dedicated to covering all images, news, and other bullshit published. Within the hallowed halls of their corporate machinery is a fucking fuckload of new Arkham City images. Oh yeah. Concept art, propaganda posters, and gameplay screen shots like wowzers. Hit the jump for the fucking motherload.
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Odd Future Does Funny Or Die Skit; Fuggin’ Swag.
Odd Future is fucking blowing up, and I love it. These motherfuckers hit Funny or Die up with a skit that is centered around them getting signed. Maybe it’s because I’m a purple-donged fanboy for these guys, but it’s fucking hilarious. Also, any skit that involves Katy Perry, Selena Gomez and fucking mouths, I’m down with. The skit is like the group: awesome, crude, swag. Hit the jump for the video.
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THIS WEEK IN COMICS: A Sweet Tooth for Hallucinations 3/2/2011.
With alacrity, my good friends! This column is bursting forth from a strained cerebellum. It is at the point in the semester where I haven't touched a comic book in two weeks, which makes the art of writing about what is coming out a bit suspect. Yet!, trust me. I bring forth the Variant Covers. The column where I harp on the dopeness that is dropping this week in the comic book world. I can't catch everything, and thusly I encourage your collective bottoms to contribute what's on your pull list in the comments section.
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Phil Noto Draws Jon Hamm As Superman. As Great As Imagined.
A lot of people have clamored for Jon Hamm to play the role of Superman. When Snyder took over the reins, Hamm was dismissed as too old, thereby taking him out of the running. Again. Dope comic book artist Phil Noto did us all a solid when he drew our dream casting. Gorgeously.
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Http://www.omega-level.net/2011/02/28/heres-xavier-and-magneto-character-posters-for-x-men-first-class/
Marvel’s dropped some character posters for the upcoming X-Men: First Class. The posters are of Xavier and Magneto, and they follow the “Before he was a crippled bald dude, he was…” motif. Which, I must add, I’m totally digging. I didn’t realize that there would be such an emphasis on the friendship and ideological rift that erupts out of it between these two chaps. Good calls! It seems that often they’re left behind in lieu of giving greater focus to a hairy dude with blue fur dropping one-liners and optic blasts. Which I’m cool with, but these is even cooler. Hit the jump for the posters.
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Ninja Gaiden 3 Teaser Is A Bloody Mess; Get It?
Team Ninja dropped a teaser for Ninja Gaiden 3 today, and it is as ridiculously violent as the series itself. Taken from a first person point of view, our boy Ryu hacks the viewer to death, replete with blood and guts ahoy. Color me excited. Hit the jump for the video.
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Video Of An Enormous Solar Flare Erupting On The Sun; Solar Splooge.
The Sun’s fucking cranky these days. We’re in an increased period of solar activity, and one benefit for geeks like me is that it’s giving us a plethora of sun ejaculation flicks to enjoy. I mean, I like ejaculation videos as-is, but now we’re taking them onto a scale the size of the solar system? The latest solar flare to rock our socks off occurred on February 24.
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This Mass Effect 3 Fan Art Is Pro Mode.
Artist Patryk Olejniczak has rocked my tits with some ludicrously pretty Mass Effect art. The works, framed as promotional pieces for Mass Effect 3 are some of the best “fan” art I’ve seen for a game. Ever. Over at Kotaku, he’s quoted as saying his goal for these digital paintings was to “to make one of the best [pieces of] fan art (which would also work as promo or poster art) to be had”. Well done. Hit the jump for the gallery.
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Face of a Franchise: Captain Kirk.
William Shatner v. Chris Pine. Whattaya think? Is Shatner a shoe-in because he’s the original urbane explorer of space? Or does Chris Pine’s reimagined Kirk, the Solo-meets-Skywalker take on the Trek universe, go places his predecessor simply couldn’t? Let the games begin.
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More Banksy In Los Angeles; Rat Time In Taco Land.
Banksy continues frolicking along in Los Angeles. His latest work went up alongside some taco joint in Oceanside. According to Hypebeast, “the piece came as a surprise to most, including the shop owner, who contemplated painting the piece over before he noticed the attention its received.” If you enter into the comments section at Hypebeast, there’s a good three-thousand comments debating whether or not its actual Banksy. I have no fucking clue. I love how the aura of Banksy is so pervasive, his influence permeates throughout boundaries regardless of whether or not this handiwork is courtesy of his agency. The Banksy! He lives. He replicates. Or he doesn’t. But he still does. It’s late man, I don’t know what I’m saying. Hit the jump for the work.
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Viggo Mortensen To Play General Zod In Superman Reboot?
Now we’re fucking talking. Apparently Christopher Nolan and Zack Snyder’s desire man to play General Zod is none other than Viggo fucking Mortensen. While we’ve heard that both Lindsay Lohan and Kevin Costner have been up for parts, this is the first time that I’ve gotten my manjuices a-fluctuating about a particular casting rumor. The kicker though? They haven’t even spoken to the dude yet.
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‘Sidereal Motion’; Video That Shows The Motion Of The Stars
A new video by José Francisco Salgado featured over at Bad Astronomy displays the beauty of sidereal motion. That fancy term is used to describe the movement of the stars in the night sky. As Phil Plait explains, it is “the apparent rising and setting caused by the rotation of the Earth. You don’t notice it second-by-second as you watch the sky, but over minutes and hours the inevitability of our planet’s angular momentum makes itself known.” Ah, our perceptions. I can’t help but wish I was capable of perceiving the Milky Way rise across a night sky without the aid of time-lapse. But for now, this’ll do. Hit the jump for the video.
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[REVIEW] Drive Angry Almost Makes It to the Finish Line
Drive Angry isn’t the movie Nic Cage devotees have been waiting for. It’s not a return to his genius form last seen in 2009′s Bad Lieutenant. He talks through his teeth and snarls a lot, but there are a lot of actors who can snarl better than Cage. It appears he’s trying to act cool, while it was probably his manic genius that got him offered the role in the first place. With that said, Drive Angry is still great in the expected ways a ridiculous b-movie should be. Oodles of blondes, bullets, and blood. But, sadly, having all the ingredients to a bitchin’ movie doesn’t mean it’s going to come out right.
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Nintendo Wii Getting A Swingers Game; ‘We Dare’. Game On!
BORED AS FUCK WITH YOUR LONGTERM COMMITMENT? DO YOU HAVE FRIENDS WHO WANT YOUR WIFE OR HUSBAND’S HOLES? You’re in lucky, plucky naughty people. Nintendo’s Wii is getting a motherfuckin’ thinly veiled orgy igniter in the form of the game “We Dare.” As they say in the Southwest Airlines commercials, “Grab your boobs and cocks, it’s on!” Let’s look a bit more in-depth as this Sure To Be Marriage Destroyer.
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Video Shows Relative Size and Distance Between Moon And Earth; Cosmic Scale!
Riffing off of a video a couple of days ago which displayed the relative scale of planets in our solar system in comparison with crazy ass fucking stars and the what-not comes this video. A gentleman takes to the street to ask people how far away they think the Moon is from Earth, using the relative scale of a tennis ball and a basketball. How does the actual scale work out?
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Trailer For New Street Fighter Documentary Gets Me Tinglin’.
I know there’s a shitload of documentaries about video games and particularly about Street Fighter. I know there’s a shitload of amazing Street Fighter players out there, too many for me to recall. Is Mike Ross one of them? I don’t know the scene well enough to judge. I know the usual names like Justin Wong and others but I’m not sure where Ross stands. Whatever the case, this trailer for the upcoming documentary FOCUS by Steve Hwang was fucking fantastic. The movie follows Ross for one summer as he tries and rock out in the professional Street Fighter scene. The trailer hits all the beats you need to make your tits hard. We’ve got man as underdog, man flounders, man perhaps triumphs. It’s what makes King of Kong so fucking good; the protagonist is talented, but you’re not sure if he’s good enough to claim the prize. Dramatic tension ensues! The trailer did good to highlight this deft narrative choice. I can’t wait, this trailer got me stoked to catch this shit. Hit the jump to check it out.
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James McAvoy Calls ‘X-Men: First Class’ A Love Story Between Two Men.
A lot of people are diggin’ the trailer for X-Men: First Class, myself included. Despite the fact that they’re quite literally still shooting and editing bullshit for the rushed movie, the tonal shift to the wayback days has me intrigued. Oh, and January Jones may not be able to act, and she’s clearly going to bastardized Emma Frost, but her heaving cleavage always gets me going. Today across the webs there’s a quote going around where James McAvoy explains how the flick is a love story between two dudes. Awesome.
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