Karen Sugarpants
You Can Ring My Bell, Among Other Things *rawr*
Imagine getting married in a dress made from those paper bells my Granny makes me buy for every wedding shower and baby shower.
Karen Sugarpants
*NSFW* Pucker Up! Lip Balm for Your Lips. No No, Not Your Lips, THOSE LIPS. *NSFW*
I don't know what you gotta be up to in order to need lip balm for your girlie lips, but whatevs.
Karen Sugarpants
Flame War Over An Ugly Overpriced Necklace. Super.
Can you imagine wearing this monstrosity to Yoga class? It’s like cowboy belt buckle meets gloworm! You’d never get out of downward facing dog!
Karen Sugarpants
Gag Inducing Spoon Rest - At Least It Isn't Pubic Hair *BARF*
We have a dog. I love her to pieces but her tongue never, ever touches my plate, my mouth or my kids. That’s just the way I am. I want to make out with my dog just about as much as I want to make out with Carrot Top or Amy Winehouse. As in NOT AT ALL. (Though I’m certain my dog’s mouth is cleaner than part of Amy Winehouse’s body.)
Karen Sugarpants
Meet Url. (Earl?) I Dunno. People Are Whacked.
This is Url. Say “Hello.” He may not understand you, but he finds comfort in the sounds of your voice....
Karen Sugarpants
These Creep Me Out More Than Any Craft We've Ever Posted
Maybe it’s that I’m reminded of Little Orphan Annie the Sequel, the one where all the kids starve to death because Mrs. Hannigan drank up all the money. It’s a Hard Knock Life. At least it must be if these are worth 40 bucks.
Karen Sugarpants
The Ultimate Guy Pick Up: MEAT DRESS. You Heard It Here First.
Cute, right? But, um… it’s MEAT. Salami and bacon. Meat Meet dress.
Karen Sugarpants
Jeff Goldblum Probably Would Not Approve This Message
Bzzzzz…..I gotta wonder who the hell would do this to their friend. Even if this close resemblance to a fly were pretty (it’s not)(flies land on poop), I wouldn’t model it on a half-naked, mostly-passed-out, totally-unshaven dude holding a bizarre excuse for a stuffed squar-nimal. The whole ensemble reeks of Ecstasy and Rave Kids. Where’s my glow bracelets? Raid? Pretty pink fly swatter?
Karen Sugarpants
The Gothic Fantasy King Of All Horned (Horny?) Things
Coupled with the subtle come hither finger and the chest baring linen robe, totally spells GIGOLO. Horned things, indeed. Moloch honey, you look like you haven’t slept in weeks, and is that…Herpes on those lips? Let me get you on a Visine & Valtrex treatment of sorts.
Karen Sugarpants
Peekaru!!!!
All I can think about is that gory scene from Alien where the alien breaks out of John Hurt’s sternum. BLARGH!
Karen Sugarpants
Dear Twilight Fans, Put the Glitter Down. Stop Putting Your Body Pillows in the Freezer.
Twilight's Edward Cullen is a 40 Year Old MISERABLE Housewife. I HAVE PROOF. FUNNY!
Karen Sugarpants
I've Got That Sinking Feeling
All dogs might go to Heaven, but fairies? Not so much. Fairies are spiteful little things, often mistaken for spreading joy, they actually carry West Nile and infest people. And so all fairies get thrown in quicksand, are then glazed in blue and sold on Etsy for us to hang our jewelry on. Obviously. It’s not the most pleasant explanation, but it’s the truth. See also: There is no Santa Claus, Part One, Part Two and Part Three.
Karen Sugarpants
Why Celebrities Give Me Hives
Rosie O'Donnell is on Etsy and boy oh boy you should see the shit she's slinging!
Karen Sugarpants
Canuck Bucks: Saving Your Money in Canada
I've heard of some American Moms pulling coupons from the internet, flyers and newspapers and saving up to 90% on their groceries or even ending up with the grocery store owing them money! An amazing feat, but unfortunately I haven't found a way to do that up here in Canada. Not to be discouraged, I found the following websites and tips to help us Canadians save money.
Karen Sugarpants
What Do You Do When You Friend Mails You a HUGE Box of Cicada Shells?
Sweetheart, you need new friends.
Karen Sugarpants
Boyfriend #11 Just Wants Some Action, Jackson
Remember the 10 Handmade Item No One Would Be Caught Dead In? (except for boyfriends just modeling their girlfriends creations so they could get laid?) Meet, boyfriend # 11.
Karen Sugarpants
Vanilla, Cherries and OH FACE!
Imagine you’re a guy. You’re walking along and suddenly there’s a hot supermodel type walking towards you, all runway shuffle, sugar & spice and legs, sporting a semi-cute spring jacket and mini shorts. As she breezes by you, all you can smell is vanilla and cherries. You wonder what her tight little posterior would look like in your hands. So you turn to watch her walk away and screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech!
Karen Sugarpants
Some Days I Wish I Had A Leather Face Panel
As reader Dawn said in her email to us, “I honestly thought it was a butthole.”
Karen Sugarpants
You Spin Me Right Round, Baby Right Round, Like a Nipple Baby Round Round Round Round
Never have I been inclined to craft a musical bra. FROM A TOY KEYBOARD.
Karen Sugarpants
Next Up On Britney Spears' Vagina's Tour
This is the kind of thing Brit-Brit’s wardrobe staff need to AVOID. Please.
Karen Sugarpants
