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Protect Children: Prohibit Divorce

Starting to sound familiar? Take out the word "divorce" and slip in "gay marriage." Yup, they stole the whole thing from the Prop 8 folks over at ProtectMarriage.com; you know, the folks who warned Californians that "schools will now be required to teach students that gay marriage is the same as traditional marriage, starting with kindergarteners."

Why You Should Read the Directions

Reseachers at Wake Forest University School of Medicine in North Carolina announced this week that Vicks VapoRub applied under the nose of children two and under might actually be making it more difficult for them to breathe. Of course, Vicks is not promoted for kids under two, and the package clearly states it should not be put directly under the nose.

Baby Born Two Days After Mom's Death

Her mother was forty-one, a former skating champion, who always wanted to be a mother. When she collapsed from a brain hemmorhage at twenty-five weeks pregnant, she could have lost that chance. But doctors decided to keep her alive for two more days, to give her baby girl a chance at life.

Smackdown: Aw, Just Let Her Have a Barbie

I used to be on the other side of this Smackdown. Bimbo Barbie wasn't prancing into my house, no way, no how. Then came Christmas. And Santa at the firehouse. And kindly volunteers in the ladies auxiliary who put a lot of time and effort into being good neighbors and buying goodies for all the little kiddies in my neighborhood. Damn them.

School to Parents: Donate Toilet Paper

You know things are bad when you don't have money for toilet paper. Not even the sandpaper variety common to public schools. That's just how bad things are for the Detroit school district; letters are being sent to parents asking them to pack their kids' backpacks with TP.