Parents! They're liars!!
"People who back into parking spots just want attention."
Every cool dude needs a signature catch phrase!
Oh, you're 29? PROVE IT!
Before the ear incident, that is.
"Crazy that every person in front of you at an ATM has never used an ATM before."
There are two kinds of people.
New year, new you!
"There's gonna be ANOTHER year?"
Let's pull back the veil on weddings.
What a great year for cats!!!
"The fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth."
OK you can have my wallet.
Either way, YUM!
"Can’t believe I just have to keep dating until someone likes me back or I die."
The internet...Is Good.
"Don’t ever let a recipe tell you how much garlic to put in. You measure that with your heart."
Your voice matters.
It's just too freaking cute.