Eliot Glazer
Patricia Heaton Is A Huge Dummy
After smack-talking America's coastal residents, outspoken conservative Everybody Loves Raymond actress Patricia Heaton managed to make a colossal ass of herself on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?, furthering evidence that the amount of junk pumped into your face is, in fact, related to a loss of brain cells.
Eliot Glazer
Vivica A. Fox Is A Cat Now
In the battle of the Feline Lookalikes, this point goes to Viv.
Eliot Glazer
Dirty Ping Pong Paddle [NSFW]
A Brooklyn, New York exhibit featuring 800 customized ping pong paddles features one especially explicit model.
Eliot Glazer
TMI, Miley Cyrus
The teen queen tweeted about scratching her mommy's scabs in bed.
Eliot Glazer
Human Synthesizer
Half-naked muddy ladies help create the first human synthesizer.
Eliot Glazer
Epic Golden Girls Tattoo
Believe us when we say how much we would genuinely appreciate having Bea Arthur on our thighs.
Eliot Glazer
Small Penis Alert
Have you seen this little dickhead around Toronto (or, at the very least, his minuscule wiener)?
Eliot Glazer
Pancake Machine
Mmm, a machine that dispenses pancakes, like an automat but exclusively for the perfect brunch.
Eliot Glazer
Man/Bear Danceoff
Ooooh, it's a drum 'n bass man/bear danceoff, y'aaaaaaaaaall!
Eliot Glazer
Larry King, Young At Heart
Just because Wifey continues to dress him like a tween doesn't mean we won't notice Larry King's eye patch.
Eliot Glazer
Duck In A Sandal
After a vet suggested Lucky the duckling be euthanized following an accident that left her leg fractured, a local cobbler designed a custom sandal that has set the bird on the road to recovery.
Eliot Glazer
The Cat That Wouldn't Let Go
Some cats are touchy-feely, but Chester just crosses the line (into super-duper cute territory, that is).
Eliot Glazer
Unfortunate Bus
You know a bus is "special" when everyone gets their own f*cking steering wheel.
Eliot Glazer
Two-Legged Cat, Maybe?
Two legs, a tail, and serious determination does not a full cat make.
Eliot Glazer
The Real Housewives of Lancaster County
The Bravo franchise extends to the Amish countryside, where the sassy Mennonite gals are secretly just as twisted as the homemade pretzels.
Eliot Glazer
Sexy Dancing Anime Barbecue Chick
Your guess is as good as ours.
Eliot Glazer
Bobby Bottleservice
Take one part Gotti Bros. one part Jon Gosselin, sprinkle in a date rape, and you've got Bobby Bottleservice, comedian Nick Kroll's top notch d'bag character creation.
Eliot Glazer
Golden Girl Cocktails
Don't know why it's taken this long, but these cocktails are named after the four legendary ladies of television's The Golden Girls.
Eliot Glazer
Kid With Beard
This kid has a beard and thinks it's "cool and awesome," a sentiment with which we strongly agree.
Eliot Glazer
Goatse Cookies
When fruit filling resembles rectal membrane, you know you're done with shortbread cookies 4eva!
Eliot Glazer
