The best Easter eggs are always up high.
"I tried screwing the pedal by hand. That didn’t work. So, I decided to start walking the bike home. I didn’t walk very far when I saw a wrench all mangled in the dirt. (Probably run over by the trucks using the road.) I picked it up, and the business end was a perfect fit for the pedal nut."
The lyrics aren't "You've been struck by a smooth criminal."
The best Disney trips are also the most efficient.
Raise a toast to this ghostly post.
"If you see something (a dog wearing a tie), say something ('hello, handsome')." —@markedly
I want someone to look at me the same way I look at this giant garlic clove.
STEVE: My new favorite weather phenomenon.
So if I've done a list about creepy things in the ocean, in the woods, and now at my front door. I'm thinking the safest place is in my bed, under my covers, with my stuffed monkey, Sergeant Bananas.
Some filmmakers really do think of everything.
There I was, thinking nightmares about kangaroos were impossible.
These little details are sneaky!
"Seconds later, the bouquet was lying on the ground in the center of an empty circle of women who didn’t want it. The bride was furious."
"What" is the only word that comes to mind.
"The minute they hear 'engineer,' 'IT,' 'medical field,' or anything if that nature, they’ll try to upsell you the most they can."
"i admire how when babies don't want to hold something anymore, they just drop it." —@earthtojosh
$134 to print TWO BOARDING PASSES.
I've never seen a boardwalk totally corkscrewed.
13 Pictures With Unidentified Photographed Objects In Them (Like, Literally, Nobody Knows What They Are)
The trail cam photo will haunt my dreams.
"Me: 'Sorry I didn’t text you back. I was pretending I didn’t see it, and I actually ended up forgetting.'" —@gtartibu88