"It's the best day of your life," they said.
18 Married People Shared The Things They Caught Their Spouses Secretly Doing, And It's So Wholesome I Can't
"I came home to find my husband pooping with the door open while singing 'Five Little Ducks.'"
"I've been married for over 16 years. I barely can remember what 'that thing I like' is."
"If you can bake cookies at a lower temperature than your curling iron, it's too hot."
"My husband brushes his teeth with scalding hot water. He thinks it gets his teeth cleaner."
"Can't find your kids? Don't worry, sit on the toilet. They'll find you."
"My wife talks in her sleep. And not like, 'I forgot milk.' More like, 'Do you think hot dogs are steak dicks?'"
You caught them red-handed.
Highlights and extensions and layers, oh my!
"My new Christmas pillow has jingle bells. I feel so festive throwing it at my husband's head."
"Sorry kids, but Santa said you can only ask for toys that are Amazon Prime eligible."
"I cannot sing around the house under any circumstances," Kristen tells BuzzFeed.
Keep these moms in your thoughts and prayers, y'all.
They ask permission from literally no one.
Three trimesters' worth of real.
"For better or for weird as hell."
Teachers Are Sharing The Most Embarrassing Reasons They've Had To Call Kids' Parents And Wow, Just Wow
"I had to call a kid's parents after he pulled his pants down and proceeded to poop on the snow-covered playground!"
"I was 27 when my son was born four years ago. I'm 42 now."
"I had a dream I was talking to my grandfather while he sat in a coffin. I called my mom the next day, and she told me he died during the night."
We aspire to their level of genius.