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Principal Bans The Word 'Meep'

The Principal of Danvers High, in Salem, Massachusetts has become so fed up with the overuse of the word 'meep' that he has threatened immediate suspension for anyone using it. When contacted, Muppet star and scientist, Beaker had no comment.

Extra Cushions

Some people find coins, old chip bags, toys, other strange things in the sofa cushions. I don't think I have ever found a guy in my sofa, however.

Banana Mail

Is this what it has come to? We are so starved for entertainment that we are going to start mailing bananas? I suspect a plot by banana growers. I also know a few friends who may be getting bananas in the mail, very soon.

Groin Kicker

"That's when the young woman inexplicably kicked him in the groin hard enough to send one of his testicles into his abdomen." As a male, that sentence made me fall out of my chair in phantom pains.