Male Models and Female Models are the number of models per capita in each city. We mapped the locations of 10,000 women and 10,000 men from models.com. Obviously, more is better.
Weed is based on the average price of one ounce of high-quality weed according to priceofweed.com. Bonus points were given to cities where medical marijuana is legal. In this case, we want the cheapest so there's more money for munchies.
Sarah Palin is the distance between each city and Sarah's hometown of Wasilla, Alaska. The farther your city is from Palin's front porch — from which she can apparently see Russia — the better for your city.
Asians:Athletes is a ratio of the Asian population to the athlete population at any of Forbes' 600 Best Colleges in America that are located in the included cities. High ratios were considered favorable, although the joke in college was that classes with low "A:A" ratios tended to have easier curves.
Bottle Service is the average price of a bottle of Grey Goose at a nightclub. It is based on the top Yelp results when we searched for bottle service in each city. The cheaper the overpriced booze, the better.
Sex Scandals is the total number listed for each city in the Wikipedia article "List of state and local political sex scandals in the United States." The cities with the most sex scandals have the highest scores — who doesn't like to spice things up?
Brooks Brothers is the total number of Brooks Brothers retail locations in each city. The more stores, the better: We like madras, yes we do.