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The 15 Stages Of Having The Itis

You need to sleep and you need to sleep now.

Posted on June 25, 2014, at 4:52 p.m. ET

1. At first, everything is cool.

You're gettin' down on some dinner. Gettin' busy with a burrito. Turnin' up on some tuna.

2. Soon, you begin to notice that you're chewing a little more slowly.

3. You yawn so much you get scared that your jaw might actually unhinge.

4. You try to shake it off and push through, but the devil keeps whispering that your plate would probably make a fine pillow.


5. Before you know it you're nodding off mid-bite.

6. But you persist. You take a break to give yourself a quick pep talk.

Come on. You can do this. Just a few bites to go.

7. You start to get super excited thinking about the bomb ass nap you're going to have at your earliest convenience.

Itis sleep is the best sleep.

8. And now it's time to get up.

Another pep talk: I can do this. Both feet on the floor. I believe in me.


9. If you can't go to sleep right away, you look like this until you can.

10. You try to be productive, but all you can think is:

11. People keep talking to you and you try your best to listen, but you're like:

Sorry, nothing you say will make sense to me until I'm done digesting.

12. And then you get cranky.



13. Then desperation sets in.

14. And when you finally do get to take that nap?

You are DONE.

15. And as full as you are, you're already thinking about those leftovers.