Everyone Knows Who Tom Steyer Is Now Because He Holds The Secret To That Super Tense Sanders-Warren Convo

"Steyer knows."

I'm old enough to remember the time when we were all asking this.

My big takeaway from the debate tonight as an avid (to the point of self detriment) follower of politics and current events: Who 👏 the 👏 fuck👏 is 👏 Tom 👏 Steyer ?

Actually I'm old enough to remember the time (precisely 9:59 p.m. ET on January 14, 2020) when even my boss was asking this.

Not 80 minutes later, we got our answer: Tom Steyer, billionaire Democratic candidate for president, was sent to us to bear witness.

And here we all are, waiting for Witness To History Tom Steyer to tell us what the hell just happened.

You see, Tom Steyer, billionaire Democratic candidate for president who apparently only owns one tie and draws odd stuff on his hand, awkwardly rolled on up what seemed like a ... very tense conversation between Sen. Elizabeth Warren and Sen. Bernie Sanders after Tuesday night's debate. Let's go to the tape:


The brief background is this: On Monday, Warren said Sanders recently told her he didn't believe a woman can win the 2020 presidential race. It was the biggest story coming into the debate, the last one before the first primary votes are cast in Iowa. During the debate, Sanders denied he had said it. When it was over, they had that moment, above.

Immediately, everyone saw Steyer in the middle of that talk — and demanded he talk.

It's obvious he heard something — go back to that video and look at how his head ricochets back and forth between Sanders and Warren.

But here's the thing:

I ain't no snitch - Tom Steyer

Reporters were put On The Case.

Steyer: I didn’t hear anything Politics twitter:

Steyer told MSNBC, "whatever they were going on between each other, I was trying to get out of the way as fast as possible."

And then he coyly told CNN, “they were talking about getting together or something.”

All non-answers.

And to be fair, we don't know what Warren and Sanders were saying.

So in this absence of information, people went back to that familiar comfort of the internet and made jokes, mostly about how awkward Tom Steyer is.

@elivalley @NYforSanders Tom Steyer is that kid at the playground who looks at the people arguing 🤣

Steyer doesn’t belong anywhere huh? Haha https://t.co/fzHJEAEotM

Some people felt it.

I relate to Steyer so he has my vote https://t.co/WmbuoJ6TQZ

Some cringed.

Tom Steyer with incredibly big "trying to make friends at a party where you don't know anyone" energy

Most people just laughed.

i keep watching that clip and fuckin tom steyer gets funnier every time

@Hipstercrite Oh tom steyer... that sweet innocent summer child

Steyer's like "Umm, what did I walk into?" https://t.co/JyxwJcHEqs

Just remember Tom, fame is fleeting. Enjoy it while you can.

Hope Steyer enjoys being the most popular candidate for 5 minutes until the reporters track him down to ask what Warren and Bernie said to each other. #DemDebate

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