What a weirdly compelling, chaotic ride Love Is Blind has been! A group of BuzzFeed News staffers live-chatted their thoughts through the final episode as they watched the five remaining couples determine whether or not they will SPEND THE REST OF THEIR LIVES TOGETHER after dating for, like, six weeks. (Lots of spoilers, naturally.)
DAMIAN AND GIANNINA
Karolina Waclawiak: I am beside myself that this ginger idiot Damian would stifle cries to publicly humiliate Giannina. Why would he do this on national television??? You could tell something crazy was about to happen because where are his parents who rejected even meeting her???
Scaachi Koul: OHHHHOHOHOHOOOOOOOOH MY gOOOD. I take back everything bad I have ever said about this show. This is the only show on television. There are no other shows.
Tomi Obaro: The preacher’s outfit looks amazing. The way the camera just pans to the crowd. Whew. Lord.
Michael Blackmon: Okay, but Damian actually dodged a bullet! I think they both displayed erratic behavior.
SK: Damian is WEAK. DAMIAN IS WEAK.
KW: This is so mean. I cannot get over how mean this is. This is so humiliating. IF I were Giannina’s father, I would knock this guy out. WHAT IS HAPPENING. This is so cruel.
SK: God, I love a shaky reality TV camera. Where is she even going?
TO: This show is a hot mess. I am in disbelief. My mom would have said that too — that the groom should be humiliated, not her.
SK: This is exactly what this show needed more of. Take a cue from Married at First Sight! LEAN IN!!!
KW: This is payback for Giannina’s fight with Damian where she said, “You know how you tell me, ‘This is the best sex of your life?’ Have you noticed that I don’t return the compliment?” He wanted to humiliate her like she humiliated him.
MB: I definitely feel bad for Giannina, but she was sending so many mixed signals! I dislike her and Damian equally!!
SK: I mean, at least his parents weren’t there to see their son behave like this? A moderate silver lining. I wonder if there’s a reason why we don’t accept this level of humiliation in a reality show from Netflix while we would from Bravo or something similar.
KW: I think what makes this show so crazy is that the only thing you win is a spouse, so the intentions feel purer walking into this show than any other reality show. And it reinvigorates the genre because they aren’t coming on here to get famous — the show is framed as these people just looking for love and walking away with a marriage.
TO: Yeah, you don’t win any money.
SK: Which is fair, but the intentions of this reality show aren’t that different than other ones. It’s still about humiliating people and having us watch it. As if we would prefer him calling her and telling her this privately over it happening at the altar.
KW: I think bringing their families into this is what takes the show to the next level. Reality shows have contestants who sign up for whatever producers are going to do to them so we don’t feel bad for them anymore, but having their parents emotionally crushed about their child’s hopes and dreams being dashed feels unnecessary and new for me as a reality TV viewer.
SK: “What happened, buddy?” will put me in my grave.
KW: “She ran.” As if he did not do something absurdly terrible to her before she took off running and fell down a hill.
SK: I hope Season 2 is just about how she murders him. I hope it lasts 45 episodes.
KW: We are all screaming at him.
TO: I love Damian’s creepy whispering when Giannina yells at him.
SK: The thing that makes me crazy about this is that he kept getting on her about yelling, and here is a prime opportunity for her to yell at him! And she can’t!!! Because he will gaslight her!!!!!! HE JUST DID IT!!!!!!!!
MB: I don’t know what to say to this.
KW: His vague gaslighting is so triggering. This is why he’s single and will hopefully be single forever after this show.
BARNETT AND AMBER
TO: This guy is not hot.
SK: A John Deere hat come to life.
TO: These parents are wild though. How can they be okay with their kids appearing on a show like this? I also love how they all talk about “dating in the pods.”
KW: Wow, she’s tan. Amber is still getting her makeup done and has Barnett even called her back after telling her that he has cold feet? Maybe don’t go through with this.
SK: Fun to remember, in moments like these, that everyone has only known each other for five weeks, which is shorter than yeast infections I have had.
MB: Yeah, I think Amber and Barnett are happy in LUST together. Which is fine, but you don’t have to get MARRIED.
TO: Amber’s wedding hair is just not the move.
MB: Shoutout to Amber’s mom cosplaying as the Fairy Godmother from Shrek 2.
KW: I see Barnett’s mother’s face is full of regret. His father can’t stop rolling his eyes.
SK: Interesting to me that there are no Indian people on this show because imAGINE telling your Amma that this is how you’re getting married.
TO: So they all get married in the same venue?
SK: Yes, they just change the backdrop and the husband.
KW: I’m surprised they don’t have the other contestants come to the wedding because I would love to see Jessica get up and scream, “Barnett, I thought you wanted me!” And where are Nick and Vanessa Lachey for this mess?
MB: I’m honestly here for Amber’s get-out-of-debt scam.
SK: These are two people who look like they’re at very different events. Barnett looks like he’s about to be taken to slaughter.
MB: I do think there’s something so beautiful about people who are able to connect so quickly and genuinely with one another.
KW: I have to admit, as someone who grew up on Instant Messenger, I would absolutely fall for someone like that.
SK: Absolutely not. There is nothing beautiful about this trainwreck. This is all further proof that before you get married, you should ask for a full breakdown of your partner’s finances and their family tree and a list of all their personal failings, alphabetically.
MB: They just need to have more queer people on next time because my gay behind wants to see queer love on the small screen.
TO: Were they all required to say their own vows?
KW: Barnett looks like he’s going to legitimately throw up through this process.
SK: This is also a show about how white people age.
MB: The music that plays while waiting for them to say yes or no is annoying!!
KW: I think this is real love, guys!
KELLY AND KENNY
TO: This is the boring couple, right?
MB: Am I the only one who thinks Kenny is hot???
MB: Yes, I am.
KW: Can we skip this super-basic boring couple?
SK: See what I’m saying? No one wants to watch this show to see two wholesome people fall in love in pods and then hang out on a beach and then get married without any conflict or anyone biting anyone else’s face.
TO: Who is paying for these weddings? They’re all getting makeup done in the same place.
SK: I am, emotionally.
KW: Have these people even had sex yet?
MB: No, not yet. But I definitely would’ve tried things out with Kenny before making my decision...
We fast-forwarded to the wedding because it was too boring.
SK: Why does it seem like all these couples only know 10 people, cumulatively?
MB: Not everyone has big friend groups, Scaachi!!!
SK: Oh my god, I just got C H I L L S. I can’t believe we thought these losers were boring!!!!
KW: WHAT JUST HAPPENED. The faces in the wedding crowd. I am dead. Honestly, maybe she needs to just date women.
TO: Maybe she should have slept with him.
SK: Very into him being rude to a producer tbh.
KW: I am very into his meltdown. He’s very hot now.
MB: HE’S BEEN HOT.
SK: Is he single again? I would like to know if he is single again.
JESSICA AND MARK
KW: Here comes Messica.
SK: Her voice. Her VOICE!!!
TO: It is so grating. LMAO. Mark literally said, “I WAS SO SURE FROM THE FIRST TIME I HEARD JESS’ S VOICE. I KNEW SHE WAS THE ONE.” WHEW.
MB: I am going to miss her chaotic energy.
SK: Messica should do something that’s the opposite of the pods where you cannot hear her and you have to try to fall in love that way.
KW: I can’t believe the lies that are coming out of her mouth after professing her love to Barnett over and over again.
SK: I, too, love to have date nights with my husband in completely separate rooms while I let my dog gurgle wine out of my glass.
KW: She’s so in love with the idea of marriage that it’s blinding her to the reality of the situation.
SK: That’s because she thinks that being in her mid-thirties means she’s on the brink of death so she has to marry whoever will have her because DEATH IS NIGH.
MB: This tweet basically sums up how I feel about Jessica.
SK: The makeup artist who did all of their foundations should go to jail immediately. Life sentence. No parole.
KW: When Jessica answers that she’s excited, I wonder what tranquilizers she’s on.
TO: They need to fire the makeup artists on this show. Whew.
KW: This is honestly the most embarrassing show I’ve ever seen.
SK: WHY DOES JESSICA HAVE NO ONE TO WALK HER DOWN THE AISLE?????
MB: Jessica has no real friends!
TO: Wow. Jessica is going to walk away!
SK: Do you think she’s looking at the ring and trying to calculate if she can keep it once she says no?
KW: I don’t want to see Mark crushed any further.
SK: IS SHE CHEWING GUM?!?!?!?!??!
TO: Yes, she’s not serious.
SK: This is the buoyancy of someone about to escape a relationship they don’t want to be in.
KW: She’s going to walk out stage left chewing gum and walking on air.
SK: Her vows are a breakup email. And he knows. You can see it in his face.
KW: She might say yes, guys. Her and her chewing gum.
TO: All these long-ass pauses because there’s no commercial break. Oof. I’m skressed.
KW: Her back broke out in hives as she said no. This is insanity. His mother looks like pure murderous rage.
SK: I knew it. I knew it! You don’t chew gum at your wedding, but you chew it in your breakup.
MB: NO ONE DESERVES TO BE STRUNG ALONG THE WAY MARK WAS BY JESSICA.
MB: This is so fucked up. I feel bad for Mark.
TO: Why did Mark miss all the signs though? She was just not that into him and he should have recognized this. I guess it's because of his much-alluded youth?
KW: Her bridal party whispering... “This is so embarrassing for her” is just the end of my life. This is the cruelest show on television. The fact the parents have to witness the public humiliation of their children is just so painful to me. So totally evil.
SK: You and I both know that those are not actually her friends and just two people they found at the mall. She went into a Forever 21 and found these two to shoot a few expository scenes with.
TO: She’s not even really crying. She knew she was going to end it. She summoned that single tear. It’s so fake.
MB: JESSICA IS AN ACTOR. THOSE TEARS ARE NOT REAL.
SK: Ohhhhh, give Messica her own show: ”I’m not actually sorry” is incredible, supervillain stuff.
KW: This show is sick. I am really uncomfortable by what they did to all these poor people who were optimistically looking for love.
SK: I just think it’s silly to pretend that Netflix has some high-minded perspective on reality because they also make prestige television. It’s not better or worse than Bravo, or TLC, or VH1, or whatever else. It’s still in the business of fucking people’s lives up on television for public consumption, with the consent of its participants, because that’s what people want to watch. I’m not sure this is any crueler than what we’ve seen on The Bachelor or 90 Day Fiance. Everyone here is an adult and they knew what they were getting into, and they knew they had to get to a wedding date and make a final decision. Why else would we watch this if not to see what happens?
LAUREN AND CAMERON
MB: I am so here for this Loving v. Virginia energy.
TO: Lauren is so sweet. Cameron has a nice lineup; he went to a black barber for sure.
KW: I can’t get past his rapping, I’m sorry.
TO: He’s incredibly corny. But it works for them. The rapping was cringe, I’ll allow it.
KW: I love Lauren. I want all the best for her.
TO: This is the most stylish-looking bridal party. Love her dress. This father–daughter moment!
SK: The editor of this show really got it together for this final wedding. This is good. This is nice.
KW: This show messes me up because there are genuine feelings and moments here. There’s a harpist. This wedding is the real deal.
MB: TRUE LOVE EXISTS. LAUREN AND CAMERON ARE PROOF.
SK: A great day for the mermaid dress industrial complex.
KW: This show has been a real roller coaster. His love for her has won me over.
TO: A brutal cut to Mark. Oof.
KW: Kenny, call me. ●