Hillary Clinton Vs. Cheesecake

Who won?

Hillary Clinton, on Sunday, visited Junior's Cheesecake in Brooklyn — Home of the World's Most Fabulous Cheesecake.

Three fabulous cheesecakes were presented to her — original, strawberry, and pineapple.

She looked at them. They called to her, luscious, resplendent, and creamy AF.

Hillary Clinton stops in for some cheesecake at Junior's in Brooklyn

But Clinton knew only too well what happens when food is put before a presidential contender.

Clinton won't be eating cheesecake in front of the press: "I learned early on not to eat in front of all of you."


"So I'm just sitting here pining. Pining for a bite," she said, trying to make light of the situation. Those gooey fuckers just sat there, waiting for her to succumb to temptation.

She looked at the cheesecake again, looking ready to grab that fork and stab it through its creamy heart.

>@HillaryClinton examines a slice of cheesecake at Junior's this afternoon. She didn't take a single bite.

She could have her cake, but she couldn't eat it.

Hillary Clinton says she wants to talk "cheesecake" instead of Bernie Sanders.

People waited with their cameras for the moment Clinton would give in.

Lots of people, both diners and staff, eager to snap a photo of Clinton with her cheesecake:

But she stayed strong.

"YOU WILL NOT DEFEAT ME!" —Clinton to cheesecake, probably.

Must. 😥 Not. 😥 Eat. 😥 Cheesecake. 😥

Another view of @HillaryClinton pining for that cheesecake, but not taking a single bite.

"I love you, but we cannot be together."

I just want someone to look at me the way Hillary Clinton is looking at this piece of cheesecake.

"When this shitshow is over, I want those three in a doggie bag." —Clinton to this unsuspecting congressman, probably.

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