No Gators Will Escape In Florida, They Said. Everything Will Be Fine, They Said
"Narrator: They all escaped."
“We have a detailed hurricane procedure in place,” said park director Mike Hileman. “We have double fences, a large perimeter fence that goes around the entire property.”
Hileman was so confident that their gators will not run loose that he added, "If you see an alligator floating down the street right by your house, it ain’t ours."
But when HuffPost ran with the headline "Gator Park...Promises None Will Escape", people suddenly became afraid of the very real threat of alligators escaping in flood waters — and absolutely no one was reassured.
"Yeah, mhmm, sure. Sure, two-thousand-alligator park, sure."
Some pointed out how this is exactly what someone would say as their famous last words BEFORE THOUSANDS OF ALLIGATORS SWAM LOOSE.
The "promise" reminded many of famous plot lines of movie franchies like Sharknado and Jurassic Park.
Where, uh, if you remember all of the animals escaped and began terrorizing people.
The jokes, of course, began. "UPDATE: The park's lone computer programmer has shut down the security system and disappeared into the storm."
"What could possibly go wrong?"
"Narrator: They were wrong."
The jokes had people chuckling...very nervously.
Just look at this smug gator, plotting his freedom.
In all seriousness, if you're in Florida please be on the look out for displaced wildlife and animals! Zoos and marine parks have taken precautions to shelter their animals, but this Huff Post story may have jinxed us all.