People Could Not Stop Making Jokes During Jared Kushner's Rare Public Address

"'I have never sought the spotlight' –Jared Kushner, who was in an episode of Gossip Girl."

Jared Kushner delivered a brief and rare public address on Monday after testifying in a closed hearing concerning the Senate's investigation into Russian interference in the election in favor of President Trump.

During the address, which lasted less than three minutes, Kushner denied any wrongdoing. "I did not collude with Russia...I had no improper contacts," he stated. But he also served some other truly memorable lines...

...that, of course, the internet laughed at.

"My name is Jared Kushner." -- Jared Kushner

Beginning with the fact that Kushner allowed himself to reintroduce himself.

@jpodhoretz Which one? The part where he says "My name is Jared Kushner"?

My name is Jared Kushner, there's a good chance I may have committed some light treason. #TrumpRussia

And his firm statement that — contrary to television appearances, magazine covers, taking a White House job, purchasing a prominent newspaper, etc., etc. — he did not seek the spotlight.

"I have never sought the spotlight." – Jared Kushner, who was in an episode of 'Gossip Girl'

@harrysiegel "I have never sought the spotlight."

Jared Kushner "I do not seek the spotlight." Oh, so you accidentally married a Trump and work at the White House...

(But, y'know, same.)

And nearly every administration official's favorite, go-to phrase: "Let me be clear..."

Let me be clear, I have not taken over for my father as the Green Goblin and I don't know who's been flying around…

"Let me be very clear: I am not going to summer camp"

Except this time delivered with such veracity.

"let me be very clear: spaghetti is too long. i will not eat spaghetti unless someone cuts it up for me beforehand."

"let me be very clear: yogurt. is. too. spicy."

Tell 👏 them 👏 Kush.

And finally, the very conclusive statement that there was no collusion on Kushner's part, allegedly.

"I did not collude with Pop Pop." -- Jared Kushner

The soft-firm passion in Kushner's eyes gave way to a lot of jokes.

I specifically said the paint color should be OFF-WHITE. What is this? EGGSHELL?

"You and your little friends will NEVER save the youth center"

these pictures make it look like kushner was just emitting a high-pitched screech for like ten minutes straight

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