If you haven't heard yet, the Philadelphia Eagles' win against the Minnesota Vikings on Sunday secured their place in the Super Bowl. Crowds of fans in Philly took to the streets in courteous cheers and dignified celebration, then they all bid their farewells and went home...
...is what this write-up would say if we weren't talking about superfans. In Philadelphia, of all places.
Not only were people crazed and rambunctious through the night, it was a dude-fest of complete lawlessness.
For one, a fan drove their dune buggy (?) up Philly's famed Rocky steps.
Someone immediately lit a Tom Brady jersey on fire. (The Eagles are playing the New England Patriots in the Super Bowl).
And this man tried to run alongside a subway car full of other crazed fans, and slammed into a pole.
In fact, the city of Philadelphia was so nervous about how citizens would react to the results of the game, it preemptively greased light polls with Crisco to prevent anyone from climbing them.
(The police even jokingly warned fans on Twitter.)
But did it work? Did it stop anyone? No, silly. Of course not!
People filmed and cheered each other on to climb the Crisco-greased light polls. "Fuck that grease! Fuck that grease!" they jeered.
"Philly enjoyed two victories last night — against the Vikings, and against vegetable oil."
The image of an American hero, apparently:
There was, however, at least one civilized fan who took the streets on Sunday night.