You'll Tell Your Children About The Great Pornhub-Russia War Of 2016

Russia's media watchdog blocked access to two porn sites and suggested viewers could go meet people in real life instead.

Disappointing pornography fans across Russia, the government's censorship arm, Roskomnadzor, blocked access to Pornhub and YouPorn on Tuesday.

This isn't the first time the agency has blacklisted Pornhub — it did so in September 2015.

Back then, Roskomnadzor — known in English as the much wordier Federal Service for Supervision of Communications, Information Technology, and Mass Media — offered a distressed internet porn viewer some advice.

"Dear Roskomnadzor, if you block Pornhub, will you at least suggest an alternative?" Twitter user @mrrborisova asked. "Kisses, Lyolya."

"Dear Lyolya, as an alternative you can meet someone in real life," Roskomnadzor's official account replied.

Today, the agency tweeted that its advice to "internet lovers" is still relevant.

Дорогие любители интернета, совет до сих пор актуален, если что. https://t.co/sar0lYR4EF

Then self-described "porn defender" @mrrborisova replied and things got a little out of hand.

"My dears, @roscomnadzor, won't you come up with something new?" she wrote. "Do you think it's possible to enter the same river twice?" the agency replied.

@mrrborisova думаете, можно в одну реку войти дважды?

"@roscomnadzor you can watch a few videos about that on Pornhub... oh wait"

"You can enter anything twice, you would know that if you hadn't blocked Pornhub," Twitter user @badamshin_s chimed in.

Дважды войти можно во что угодно, Вы бы это знали, если бы порнхаб не блокировали https://t.co/v6wZ3pou0J

But at least one person claims to have benefited from the censorship agency's suggestion to find a partner IRL: "After the porn site was blocked I took @roscomnadzor's famous advice. We're getting married soon."

Pornhub also weighed in:

.@roscomnadzor if we give you guys a Pornhub Premium account, will you un ban Pornhub in Russia?

But the agency wasn't amused:

@Pornhub sorry, we are not in the market and the demography is not a commodity.

The Russian government has encouraged people to procreate in order to combat a demographic crisis.

Things just escalated from there:

.@BarackObama please pardon @Snowden. Russia just blocked https://t.co/ukBPXIE2PX, he needs out ASAP!

The company also clarified that the Russian version of the site was still available.

To our Russian friends: https://t.co/a4uRC9keok is not blocked / Всем нашим Русским друзьям https://t.co/a4uRC9keok незаблокированный

UPDATE

Pornhub.ru has also been blocked, according to RosKomSvoboda, a project that monitors internet censorship in Russia.

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