After Cindy Crawford’s Younger Brother Died, She And Her Sisters Felt Like It Should Have Been One Of Them Instead Because Their Dad “Really Wanted A Boy”

Recalling how she and her two sisters handled their brother’s tragic death, Cindy confessed: “We knew that my dad really wanted a boy, and we felt like, well, it should have been one of us.”

Cindy Crawford has opened up about the devastating impact that her younger brother’s death had on her and her sisters in childhood.

Cindy Crawford stepping out in a chic blazer and matching skirt

Recalling Jeffrey's diagnosis, Cindy said: “I was 8, my older sister would have been 10, my younger sister would have been 4, and Jeff was 2, turning 3, when he got diagnosed, and then he was sick for two years.”

Cindy Crawford speaks at an event, wearing an off-the-shoulder top

“There’s that survivor’s guilt of the other kids,” she went on. “Especially because we knew that my dad really wanted a boy, and we felt like, well, it should have been one of us. It was so weird. For years, my sisters and I would all have these same nightmares that it should have been one of us.”

“My mom wouldn’t have known to say this, she was 26 years old and had just lost a child, but I needed to hear: ‘Yes, we’re so sad that Jeff died, but we’re so happy you’re here,’” Cindy explained. “Through doing the work on myself, I was able to ask my mom to say that now, as an adult, just to kind of close the loop on that feeling.”

Cindy Crawford poses in a suit at the National Book Awards event

The star later acknowledged that becoming a mom herself made her realize just how tough losing Jeffrey must have been for her mother.

In fact, Cindy said that when she gave birth to her first child at 30 years old, she called her mom up and asked her how she had possibly survived the death of a child.

“You can’t imagine losing a child until you have a child, and even then, you don’t want to imagine it,” Cindy explained. “But I remember her saying: ‘Well, I had three other kids looking at me to lead them through this.’ And I think, because of us, she got out of bed and had to do what she had to do.”

Cindy is mom to 24-year-old Presley Gerber and 22-year-old Kaia Gerber, who she shares with her husband, Rande Gerber.

The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-800-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.

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