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This Podcast Will Take You On An Imaginary Journey

We had our illustrators draw what they heard in Hello from the Magic Tavern so you could take your own journey to Foon.

Last updated on July 3, 2018, at 1:19 p.m. ET

Posted on June 30, 2015, at 2:43 p.m. ET

Greetings from Foon!

Hello from the Magic Tavern is an improvised podcast. Completely made-up. Totally fake. And it's here to introduce you to the magical land of Foon. Each week, new characters are introduced in order to illuminate the world and entertain listeners.

We had our illustration team draw what they "saw" while listening to this episode:

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Many moons ago, the brave host of the podcast was sucked into a portal behind a Burger King in Chicago.

Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed
Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

Luckily for us all, Arnie had his trusty podcasting equipment with him and is still able to receive a very weak Wi-Fi signal from the fast food joint. He landed in Hogsface, a town in the land called Foon. Once there, he set up a weekly interview-style podcast in order to discover what this land had in store for him.

Sadly, he's now stranded in Foon without his wife, Sarah, and newborn child. There has been no contact between them.

Arnie hosts this podcast from a tavern named The Vermillion Minotaur, located at the base of the McShingleshane Forest.

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Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed
Will Varner / BuzzFeed

The owner of the establishment, Otok Barleyfoot, provides a welcoming atmosphere for Arnie to conduct his interviews. Many magical, or just plain strange, creatures have crossed the pub's threshold in order to let the people of Arnie's world know more about their lives.

Arnie typically has two consistent guests: Usidore the Wizard and Chunt, who is a shapeshifter. Currently, Chunt is a badger but can change form by some interesting means.

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In this episode, Arnie and Chunt speak with Otok about the town.

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Dan Meth / BuzzFeed

There's much to learn about the tavern, which has a rich history. Many delicious local dishes are served here. Ask for the spiced potatoes (raw potatoes rubbed with spices) or the rooster's feet!

Legends are quite important in Foon. The tavern itself has a rich origin story.

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Dan Meth / BuzzFeed
Will Varner / BuzzFeed

"The countess's baby was trapped in the forest, and eight Vermillion minotaurs invited the baby into their labyrinth," Otok explained. "The heavens rained down, and then the horses came."

Though he says he doesn't do the tale justice, we learn it's a story he and his wife used to tell their daughter, Activia.

Foon, as friendly as it seems at first, can be quite dangerous — especially for children.

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Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed
Dan Meth / BuzzFeed

Activia ran away from home to join the Falsetto Marauders, a group of mercenary warriors. Though it was her choice, Otok is still distressed, for the Falsetto Marauders are terrible folk. They've killed off all of the sheep in Foon and are also known for just smacking babies.

As important as these interviews are, for both our realm and for Foon's own recorded history, they often get interrupted.

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Dan Meth / BuzzFeed

The Vermillion Minotaur is a tavern, after all. It serves some pretty potent beverages to its patrons; these drinks often come with a rumor from the bartender about someone in Hogsface. The more drinks you buy, the more rumors you get to hear.

Since life in Foon can be quite bleak, Usidore the Wizard often drinks to excess and bombards the others in the tavern. He drinks in order to forget the failure, so far, of his attempts to get people to join his quest to defeat the Dark Lord.

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Despite the desperate circumstances, people in Hogsface find ways to entertain themselves.

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Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed
Maritsa Patrinos / BuzzFeed

People in the town play Mittens, a sport overseen by chairman Larry Birdman.

In addition to Chunt's Night, a weekly night of various acts hosted by Chunt himself, The Vermillion Minotaur also has Open Mike Night. Mike, you see, is an Inside Outer who loves performing stand-up comedy.

We can all educate ourselves about other dimensions thanks to Arnie, Chunt and Usidore. And the Burger King's surprising Wi-Fi signal.

Andrea Hickey / BuzzFeed

If you have questions for Arnie and his guests, or knowledge about Arnie's wife's whereabouts, use these two emails to further your experience with Foon: magictavern@puppies.supplies - and - chuntttttt@gmail.com.

Hopefully by spreading the word about this podcast will the people of Earth be able to open their eyes to the magical world of Foon and all who inhabit it.

And before the Dark Lord wreaks havoc on them all.

For your extra listening pleasure, listen to this ode to Usidore, performed by the traveling bards Glenn Miller and Spants.

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(Also, they recorded a more polished studio version in case that's more your style.)

Hello from the Magic Tavern is an improvised podcast. Everything is made up on the spot, while some of the very general overarching plot is decided upon beforehand. You can subscribe here on iTunes, find them on Facebook and/or Twitter.

Thanks to our amazing illustrators, you can now visualize parts of this fantastical, non-existent world. The beauty of improv is that it allows you to go anywhere, and now we can see what that looks like.

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