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Melissa McCarthy Played The White House Press Secretary On "SNL" And OMG

"I'm not here to be your buddy. I'm here to swallow gum, I'm here to take names."

Posted on February 5, 2017, at 2:06 a.m. ET

Melissa McCarthy made a surprise appearance on Saturday Night Live this weekend as White House press secretary Sean Spicer, mocking the combative relationship between the Trump administration and reporters.

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McCarthy nailed the tense moments between Spicer and journalists, whose relationship during the first days of the new administration has been, well, rocky to say the least.

"When I say rocky start, I mean it in the sense of Rocky the movie. Because I came out here to punch you! In the face!"

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"I'd like to begin today by apologizing on behalf of you, to me, for how you treated me in the last two weeks."

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"I'm not here to be your buddy. I'm here to swallow gum, I'm here to take names."

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Holy crap.

On to some news, then.

President Trump announced his Supreme Court nominee this week.

"The crowd greeted him with a standing ovation," McCarthy says angrily. "[It] lasted a full 15 minutes. You can check the tape. Everyone was smiling. Everyone was happy."

"The men all had erections. And every single one of the women was ovulating left and right."

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"Spicer" then goes on to answer some questions.

The first one is from a New York Times reporter, about President Trump's travel ban.

"Yeah, I wanted to ask about the travel ban on Muslims," the reporter asks.

"It's not a ban," McCarthy says. "Not a ban. The travel ban is not a ban, which makes it not a ban."

"You just called it a ban," the reporter replies.

The president called it a ban in his tweets, which the reporter reads out loud.

"He's quoting you," McCarthy says. "It's your words. He's using your words when you used the words and he uses them back — it's a circular using of the word and that's from you."

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What?

Okay, the next question is about the role Steve Bannon is playing in the National Security Council.

"That's a dumb question. Sit down, sit down!"

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These questions really start rubbing "Spicer" the wrong way, though, and he's got to bring out some visual aids for reporters.

"The president will not be de-turd."

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Let's just say Spicer takes a bit of a confrontational approach to the press.

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Poor CNN. "We're not fake news!"

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All right, one last question.

This one is about the White House statement on the Holocaust Remembrance Day, which made no mention of Jews.

Was it anti-Semitic? A reporter wants to know.

"This is soapy water and I'm washing that filthy lying mouth out!"

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Here we go again!

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