Captions reflect only deeper truths.
Posted on May 10, 2012, at 2:44 p.m. ET
They be like: Joe--(what?)--can you teach me how to Dougie?
"Okay, so everyone sitting at this table right now will wait to announce their support for gay marriage until I do. Are we agreed?"
"It's a pleasure to meet you and the rest of your face-making team. Congratulations on your world championship!"
"Hope I don't choke autographing this homemade sign! But seriously, you're freaking me out."
"Sometimes I miss my home on Vulcan."
In the background: Secret Service or intrepid cub reporter?
"Honey, check out this awesome Michelle Obama simulation app. It's like she's right here with us."
"Cartagena sure is beautiful tonight. Some really lovely girls were at that party. Don't you think so, Agent Williams? ... Agent Williams?"
"Okay, Number 1: Nicolas, are you daydreaming about running against DSK again?"
"No worries. It's no big deal, but I actually prefer Fido to fro-yo."
"What? I'm just saying when they call you 'the big dog' I get a little peckish."
Obama is greeted in Aurora, Colorado by a team of badasses.
It's all fun and games until Biden goes for a nipple.
"I’ve just concluded that for me personally it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think Corgis are the best. For lunch."
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