In the latest episode of her new documentary series, Dancing with the Devil, Demi Lovato opened up about how she felt in the aftermath of her split with actor Max Ehrich.
Demi and Max originally got engaged in July 2020 after four months of dating. At the time, Demi wrote on Instagram, “I’ve never felt so unconditionally loved by someone in my life (other than my parents), flaws and all.”
Documentary footage now shows Demi talking to a camera a few days after the breakup with Max. “I’m really sad that things ended the way that they did,” she said stoically. “Good news is I haven’t picked up any hard drugs or anything like that. I’m hanging in there. Ugh, it’s just shitty.”
However, later footage recorded that night showed that emotions were running high.
“The video I made earlier wasn’t an accurate representation of what I’m going through. I thought this whole time that I didn’t miss him, I just missed the person that I started quarantining with. I don’t know how to give my heart to someone after this.”
Then, looking back on the split, Demi reflected, “I think I rushed into something that I thought was what I was supposed to do. I realized as time went on that I didn’t actually know the person that I was engaged to.”
“The hardest part of the breakup was mourning the person that I thought he was,” she said. “But I’m not the only one who felt fooled.”
However, Demi continues to look on the bright side: “There’s so much more of me that I have yet to explore. One of the good things about this experience is that I’ve used this time to look within.”
Furthermore, the documentary also shows Demi elaborating on how the breakup affected her perceptions of her sexuality.
“I feel like I’m actually too queer to marry a man in my life right now,” she added. “I’m not willing to put a label on it right this second, I think I will get there, but there’s a lot of things I have to do for myself first.”