Singer-songwriter Taylor Swift said she was “completely terrified” of going on tour in the wake of the deadly 2017 attacks on Ariana Grande fans in Manchester and a Las Vegas outdoor concert, and revealed that she fears stalkers trying to break into her home.
In a new piece for Elle magazine, the “Look What You Made Me Do” singer said she was worried about how to protect her fans over the course of the seven-month Reputation stadium tour after the deadly attacks.
“There was a tremendous amount of planning, expense, and effort put into keeping my fans safe,” she wrote.
As part of the security measures for the tour, fans were strongly encouraged to not bring bags, and if they did, they were asked to bring one that was “clear, plastic, vinyl, or PVC.”
Swift also painted a terrifying picture of how her fame has impacted her personal sense of security.
“My fear of violence has continued into my personal life,” she said. “I carry QuikClot army grade bandage dressing, which is for gunshot or stab wounds.”
“Websites and tabloids have taken it upon themselves to post every home address I’ve ever had online. You get enough stalkers trying to break into your house and you kind of start prepping for bad things.”
Swift has had quite a few run-ins with stalkers in recent years. Frank Andrew Hoover was sentenced to 10 years’ probation last year after allegedly threatening to kill the singer and her family in several emails. The man had previously been arrested in 2016 for violating a restraining order Swift had against him.
In addition to Hoover, there’s Roger Alvarado, who pleaded guilty after being accused of trying to burglarize the singer’s home in New York City.
The star said she tries to remind herself “of the good in the world.”
“We have to live bravely in order to truly feel alive, and that means not being ruled by our greatest fears,” she said.
Swift also used the Elle piece to touch on her personal experience with sexual assault.
“Coming forward is an agonizing thing to go through. I know because my sexual assault trial was a demoralizing, awful experience,” she said.
The singer alleged DJ David “Jackson” Mueller grabbed her butt during a backstage photo op in 2013.
Though Mueller denied the claim, a jury of six women and two men sided with Swift in 2017 and awarded her the symbolic $1 she had asked for — a gesture intended to show women “you can always say no,” according to the star’s lawyer.
“I believe victims because I know firsthand about the shame and stigma that comes with raising your hand and saying ‘This happened to me,’” said Swift.
“It’s something no one would choose for themselves. We speak up because we have to, and out of fear that it could happen to someone else if we don’t.”
In 2017, Swift was among those named Time’s Person of the Year, along with other “silence breakers.” It was the magazine’s way of honoring the #MeToo movement, originally created by Tarana Burke, which began in earnest months after Swift’s court case when accusations were printed in the New York Times and New Yorker magazine against Harvey Weinstein.