Just 18 Tweets From The "Survive A Horror Movie In 5 Words" Hashtag
"Never say, 'Let's split up.'"
It's October which means it's prime time to sit back and watch some of your favorite horror films — if you're into that kind of thing, of course.
That said, one of the most frustrating parts of watching a scary movie is when the protagonist(s) avoid all of the plain-as-day signs of danger, which ultimately leads to them getting wounded, and sometimes, killed.
For example, the person who trips and falls, allowing the killer to catch up with them and strike while they're on the ground. Or the person who, for some reason, can't quell their curiosity so they decide to investigate a terrifying, dilapidated-looking home where they will surely meet their demise. You get the picture.
So it's appropriate — on Friday the 13th, no less — that folks would be tweeting how one could survive in a horror movie.
Here are some of the best — and funniest — tweets from the #SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words tag:
1. Don't ever suggest this, because it's a bad plan.
#SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words NEVER say "Let's split up"
2. And this mistake will only increase your chances of being offed.
Do not yell "who's there?" #SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words
3. Creating a distraction is a plus, for sure.
#SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words push whoever’s in the way
4. It's best to avoid recreational activities, honestly.
#SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words “Want to go camping?” “No”
5. Listen!
Just listen to background music. #SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words
6. Stay far away from eerie settings and you'll be gucci.
Don't go in the attic. Don't go in the cellar. Don't go in the cemetary. Don't open the closet door... #SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words
7. Because, c'mon, you're trying to escape, right?
#SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words Run out door, not upstairs!
8. If you're a melanin-rich person, get your behind out of there ASAP.
Just don't be a minority #SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words
9. This is almost always not a good idea.
Don’t go back into house #SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words
10. Choose something like Monopoly or Scrabble, because at least those games don't have a track record of stirring spirits from ~the other side.~
#SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words Don’t Touch the Ouija Board
11. Pretend you didn't hear anything, and then run in the opposite direction.
Do not investigate that sound. #SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words
12. Because when has this ever ended well?
Don’t follow the blonde girl. #SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words
13. Hitchhikers can call a Lyft tbh.
Don't pick up any strangers on the road !!! #SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words
14. "Be right back" — someone's last words in most horror films.
Never say "Be right back" #SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words
15. A foolproof way to ensure you survive, at least until the end: be the villain.
#SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words Always be the serial killer
16. Because whatever's behind you is probably trying to kill you, and looking back will only slow you down.
#SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words Never stop to look back
17. A weapon is usually useful — always keep one close.
#SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words always have the biggest knife
18. And finally, the most important tip:
dont assume that hes dead. #SurviveAHorrorMovieIn5Words
Take heed to these tweets, but let's just hope you never find yourself in a position where you have to use them. 🤡🎃🔪
-
Michael Blackmon is a culture reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York.
Contact Michael Blackmon at michael.blackmon@buzzfeed.com.
Got a confidential tip? Submit it here.
