Rick Santorum: "The Family Values Burger"

Mitt Romney: "The $10,000 Burger"

Newt Gingrich: "The Open Relationship Burgers"

Ron Paul: "The Slim Burger"

Burger stylings by Will Levitt. Follow him on Twitter at @dormroomdinner.
Dorm Room Dinner has applied its culinary talents to the Republican primary, creating a special hamburger and description — a kind of hamburger attack ad — for each of the candidates who have thrown their hats in the ring. Not sure which one looks tastiest.
All-Beef Burger, Totally-Not-Gay Special Rainbow Sauce, Fairy Sprinkles on a Bun
"We all know how Ricky feels about the gays, which is why I created this completely family- and kid-friendly burger, perfect for you're whole family to enjoy! You'll taste the sanctity of traditional marriage in every bite!"
Premium American Wagyu Beef Burger, New England Aged Cheddar, Black Truffel, Elitist Massachusetts Greens on a Brioche Bun
"A burger this luxurious only seemed appropriate for the former business executive. And as long as we're all protected under Romney-Care, why not have two?"
All-Beef Burger with Mayo and Ketchup, All-Beef Cheese Burger, All-Beef Bacon Burger
"Why have just one burger when you can have three at once? That's why I made three nice and plump burgers for Mr. Gingrich. I think he'll like them so much he'll want to marry all three!"
Turkey Burger and Lettuce on a Bun
"Ron Paul wants a slimmer government, so I created a slimmer burger. And let's be honest, this burger is about as exciting as the Paul campaign gets."
Burger stylings by Will Levitt. Follow him on Twitter at @dormroomdinner.
McKay Coppins is a senior writer for the BuzzFeed News politics team, and the author of <a href="http://amzn.to/1l2ObHY" target="_blank">The Wilderness</a>, about the battle over the future of the Republican Party.
Contact McKay Coppins at mckay@buzzfeed.com.
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