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Russian Super Mario Warns Against The Dangers Of "Extremism"

All is not well in the Mushroom Kingdom.

Posted on July 17, 2015, at 1:02 p.m. ET

"It's-a me, Koshmario!" This Russian plumber is just like the Nintendo hero and mascot Super Mario in every way, save one crucial detail.

Vladimir Province Police Department / Via

He's an EXTREMIST!!!

Vladimirsk Province Police Department / Via

This isn't propaganda from King Bowser's occupation of the Mushroom Kingdom.

Instead, Koshmario the star of this video from the police department of Vladimir province, a picturesque backwater of Moscow. (His name comes from the Russian koshmar, or "nightmare.")

The video was an entry in a Russian interior ministry contest for public service announcements against "extremism" and terrorism. Russia's "extremism" statute is ostensibly to fight neo-Nazis and Islamic fundamentalists, but is vaguely written and loosely applied to everything from Scientology to South Park.

Koshmario tries to Google how to make a nuclear bomb from the privacy of your own home. But Russia's web censors block the site!

Vladimir Province Police Department / Via

He tags swastikas on green pipes. You just don't feel safe walking around the Mushroom Kingdom at night anymore.

Vladimir Province Police Department / Via

Then he tramples another pipe representing Russia's legal code. Is nothing sacred?!

Vladimir Province Police Department / Via

Just in time, Russian police arrive to save the day. Koshmario's reign of terror is over!

Vladimir Province Police Department / Via

Somehow, Koshmario didn't even crack the top three in the contest. First prize went to this sappy video from Dagestan about a terrorist who accidentally blows up his own family. Russian policemen have no appreciation for the classics.

View this video on YouTube / Via

The full video, complete with tinny metal cover of the Super Mario Bros. theme, is here:

View this video on YouTube / Via
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    Max Seddon is a correspondent for BuzzFeed World based in Berlin. He has reported from Russia, Ukraine, Azerbaijan and across the ex-Soviet Union and Europe. His secure PGP fingerprint is 6642 80FB 4059 E3F7 BEBE 94A5 242A E424 92E0 7B71

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