We figured there are two ways to think of sexiness.
Having that stereotypical Barbie and Ken appearance. Like those pesky Joneses you're always trying to keep up with. Or the mean girls. Kinda what Abercrombie & Fitch is going for, but with shirts on.
Or the frequency and competency with which you actually have sex. Closing the deal is probably the most important part. I mean, let's be real — sex is the root of the word.
So we collected some state-by-state data and mapped it out.
For superficial sexiness, we gathered stats on looks and success in life. The looks include obesity rates and media-driven superlatives (Miss Americas, People's Sexiest Men Alive and Most Beautiful, Playboy Playmates, and GQ cover men born in each state). Success includes household income, education level, and unemployment rate.
For practical sexiness, we looked at birth rate, STD rate, and penis size. Really wanted to get condom sales too, but they're not available at a state level.
Each stat was weighted equally within its form of sexy. See the results in the matrix below.
The Top 5 Sexiest
Hawaii is the sexiest state in America by our standards. They have the second-lowest obesity rate in America. Nicole Kidman was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, and has been featured on multiple most beautiful people's lists.
2. New York
New York comes in at No 2. A total of 48 different men born in New York have had the honor of being on the cover of GQ Magazine. Robert Downey Jr. was born in Manhattan.
Not surprising that the state home to Hollywood comes in at No. 3. California is a hotbed of attractive people, with 145 Playboy Playmates born here. Jennifer Aniston, who was voted Hottest Woman of All Time, was born in California.
Virginia is a very well-rounded state at No. 4 overall, placing in the top 10 for education and household income. Academy Award winner Sandra Bullock was born in Arlington County, Virginia.
Illinois rounds our our top 5. Illinois is another very well-rounded state with several Miss America winners and multiple "Sexiest Men Alive" being born in Illinois. Terrence Howard, who has been named on People magazine's Most Beautiful People List, was born in Chicago.
The 5 Least Sexy
Montana is our fifth-least sexy state. It ranks toward the bottom of every practical sexiness category. Legendary NBA coach Phil Jackson was born in Deer Lodge, Montana. Apparently his 13 NBA championship rings aren't sexy?
Iowa is the fourth-least sexy state in America. Its men have the second-smallest penis size and the state has a higher unemployment rate than most states. Politician Michelle Bachmann was born in Waterloo, Iowa.
A bit surprising, but Maine is our third-least sexy state. Maine ranks in the bottom 10 for each of our practical sexiness categories. Author Stephen King was born in Portland, Maine.
Kentucky is the second-least sexy state on our list, ranking in the bottom 10 for obesity rate, household income, and unemployment. Multimillionaire adult magazine founder Larry Flynt was born in Magoffin County, Kentucky.
50. West Virginia
West Virginia is all the way at the bottom and the least sexy state by our standards. West Virginia ranks last in education and is in the bottom five for obesity rate and household income. It is also in the bottom five for each of our practical sexiness categories. Comedian Steve Harvey was born in Welch, West Virginia.