Vanessa Bryant is speaking out about how she’s mourning the loss of her husband Kobe Bryant and their 13-year-old daughter Gianna after they died in a helicopter crash last month.
“I’ve been reluctant to put my feelings into words. My brain refuses to accept that both Kobe and Gigi are gone. I can’t process both at the same time,” Bryant wrote in an Instagram caption alongside a video of Gianna playing basketball. “It’s like I’m trying to process Kobe being gone but my body refuses to accept my Gigi will never come back to me. It feels wrong.”
Gianna and her NBA legend father died Jan. 26 along with seven others, including two other teenage girls with their family members, a basketball coach, and the helicopter pilot, while on their way from Orange County to a basketball game.
In the immediate aftermath of the crash, Vanessa Bryant changed her Instagram preferences to private, but has since gone public and is slowly speaking out about how she and her family are coping with the loss.
“Why should I be able to wake up another day when my baby girl isn’t being able to have that opportunity?! I’m so mad,” she wrote in her latest post. “She had so much life to live.”
Kobe and Vanessa got married in 2001 after meeting in 1999. The couple went on to have four daughters together. "I need to be strong and be here for my 3 daughters," she said. "Mad I’m not with Kobe and Gigi but thankful I’m here with Natalia, Bianka and Capri."
“I know what I’m feeling is normal. It’s part of the grieving process,” Bryant added. “I just wanted to share in case there’s anyone out there that’s experienced a loss like this. God I wish they were here and this nightmare would be over. Praying for all of the victims of this horrible tragedy. Please continue to pray for all.”
An investigation into the cause of helicopter crash remains ongoing. However, visibility was low that day and officials say there was no sign of engine failure.